It's Okay To Be An Inconvenience.

Todays doodles are Myras personal Horse Acting Guide! 🐴

DISCLAIMER: im not a horse expert, but i’ve been hobby riding for 13 years and read some books through the years, so it’s just my personal experience. I dont know everything and people have different ways!

You're going to do better when you take the labels "healthy", "good", "negative", and "unhealthy" and put them far far away in general but from coping mechanisms and emotions in particular

It was truly life changing for me when a therapist told me this:

"A coping mechanism is a method you use to survive and if it keeps you alive it's doing its job. It's only a problem when you apply it to situations it's not meant for. You need to learn how to put it back in your bag of tools and pull out the appropriate coping mechanism for the situation. And if your situation changes back to one where your old coping mechanism still works you can go back to it."

Your coping mechanism isn't "negative" or "unhealthy". You're just trying to take a hammer to a situation you need a screwdriver for

It's about using the appropriate tool for the situation but the goal is always the same: survive

In a similar note you don't have "negative" or "bad" emotions

You just have emotions

And you're not a monster for feeling a certain way.

You are responsible for your actions but even then an actions ability to do help or harm depends on your situation

Is it manipulative to burst into tears and go on a rant about how you're the worst person alive when someone corrects you?

Depends!

Is the person asking just a friend, coworker, etc asking for something completely reasonable?

Then yeah that's not a good look

Is the person someone who will scream and yell and insult and maybe even hit you until you have shown what they consider to be the 'proper' amount of remorse and debasement?

Then no it's not manipulative, it's a survival tool

I know the internet hates nuance but seriously. Having certain coping mechanisms or feelings or having done certain actions does not make you a monster

But it is important to learn how to find the correct tool to a situation.

If you try to use a hacksaw to attach bookshelf to a wall it's going to go pretty badly and cause a fair amount of damage in the process

But don't beat yourself up for owning a hacksaw. At one point you needed it and at least it's there if you need it again

So I'm looking for references of mountain bluebirds to draw and I found this:

My stupid monkey brain's first thought was to make this:

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!

math

math

As a nonbinary person I am begging begging BEGGING people to stop enforcing gender on things that don't need it, assigning gender to hobbies, food choice, ability, personality traits etc.

"Girl dinner", "the feminine urge", "the masculine urge", "cottagecore is for women, dark academia is for men", "I want to fuck him like if he was a woman and I was a man", "this man is so fruity he is a girl to me I refuse to see him as a man". I'm sure many of you use it ironically but there's also a handful of people that really go downhill with sexism they haven't reflected on and it bleeds into real life.

It hurts Everyone, it reinforces misogyny and homophobia, but also I just want to say that it reinforces transphobia as well.

I really don't want to keep existing in a society that keeps trying to shove me into a box or asking me questions like "so are you a man kind of nonbinary or a woman kind of nonbinary eyes emoji". It's frustrating to see dates asking my nonbinary butch friend "so like, are you a trans man or are you still a woman" and remember how I had similar experiences unless I dated another trans person. And I'm saying all this as a genderfluid guy, I want to be genderfluid on my own terms.

These experiences go beyond dating, obviously, but I want to keep this post short-ish.

Reinforcing cishet gender values hurts everyone and it hurts nonbinary people also.

And I'm sure trans men and trans women also have plenty to say about this (which I'm not, so feel free to add your perspective in replies/reblogs/asks if you are)

And when other LGBT people do it it feels like a backstab.

No you cannot fix your entire life at 2am. Go to bed.

DEAR ARTISTS, PLEASE READ THIS POST I STUMBLED ACROSS

IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS ALREADY, YOU SHOULD TRY IT

I even tested it out myself, it works great

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.