GET DOWN HERE NOW,

Don't worry, no one in our family is [REDACTED]

You're going to do better when you take the labels "healthy", "good", "negative", and "unhealthy" and put them far far away in general but from coping mechanisms and emotions in particular

It was truly life changing for me when a therapist told me this:

"A coping mechanism is a method you use to survive and if it keeps you alive it's doing its job. It's only a problem when you apply it to situations it's not meant for. You need to learn how to put it back in your bag of tools and pull out the appropriate coping mechanism for the situation. And if your situation changes back to one where your old coping mechanism still works you can go back to it."

Your coping mechanism isn't "negative" or "unhealthy". You're just trying to take a hammer to a situation you need a screwdriver for

It's about using the appropriate tool for the situation but the goal is always the same: survive

In a similar note you don't have "negative" or "bad" emotions

You just have emotions

And you're not a monster for feeling a certain way.

You are responsible for your actions but even then an actions ability to do help or harm depends on your situation

Is it manipulative to burst into tears and go on a rant about how you're the worst person alive when someone corrects you?

Depends!

Is the person asking just a friend, coworker, etc asking for something completely reasonable?

Then yeah that's not a good look

Is the person someone who will scream and yell and insult and maybe even hit you until you have shown what they consider to be the 'proper' amount of remorse and debasement?

Then no it's not manipulative, it's a survival tool

I know the internet hates nuance but seriously. Having certain coping mechanisms or feelings or having done certain actions does not make you a monster

But it is important to learn how to find the correct tool to a situation.

If you try to use a hacksaw to attach bookshelf to a wall it's going to go pretty badly and cause a fair amount of damage in the process

But don't beat yourself up for owning a hacksaw. At one point you needed it and at least it's there if you need it again

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

As a nonbinary person I am begging begging BEGGING people to stop enforcing gender on things that don't need it, assigning gender to hobbies, food choice, ability, personality traits etc.

"Girl dinner", "the feminine urge", "the masculine urge", "cottagecore is for women, dark academia is for men", "I want to fuck him like if he was a woman and I was a man", "this man is so fruity he is a girl to me I refuse to see him as a man". I'm sure many of you use it ironically but there's also a handful of people that really go downhill with sexism they haven't reflected on and it bleeds into real life.

It hurts Everyone, it reinforces misogyny and homophobia, but also I just want to say that it reinforces transphobia as well.

I really don't want to keep existing in a society that keeps trying to shove me into a box or asking me questions like "so are you a man kind of nonbinary or a woman kind of nonbinary eyes emoji". It's frustrating to see dates asking my nonbinary butch friend "so like, are you a trans man or are you still a woman" and remember how I had similar experiences unless I dated another trans person. And I'm saying all this as a genderfluid guy, I want to be genderfluid on my own terms.

These experiences go beyond dating, obviously, but I want to keep this post short-ish.

Reinforcing cishet gender values hurts everyone and it hurts nonbinary people also.

And I'm sure trans men and trans women also have plenty to say about this (which I'm not, so feel free to add your perspective in replies/reblogs/asks if you are)

And when other LGBT people do it it feels like a backstab.

ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS

i am allowed to spend my time creating things, even if they are not beautiful.

there is no such thing as a "real job." all forms of work are real and valid.

there is nothing that i need to accomplish to be worthy. i am already worthy.

doing nothing is good for my soul.

i am not defined by what i produce.

my worth cannot be measured by my paycheck, my job title, or a list of professional or academic achievements.

i do not need to monetize my hobbies, it is enough to spend time doing something i love.

i will not let society decide what success looks like. i can define what successful life looks like for me.

Todays doodles are Myras personal Horse Acting Guide! 🐴

DISCLAIMER: im not a horse expert, but i’ve been hobby riding for 13 years and read some books through the years, so it’s just my personal experience. I dont know everything and people have different ways!

DEAR ARTISTS, PLEASE READ THIS POST I STUMBLED ACROSS

IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS ALREADY, YOU SHOULD TRY IT

I even tested it out myself, it works great

somethin small. tryna get the creative juices pumpin in my brain.