What Do You Mean I Can't Control Everything, Why Not

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

I have a very small Spotify account and I think it says something about the state of the world that a song of mine whose primary lyrics are "we're all gonna die" got streamed wayyyyy more than usual this month.

It is not enough to get into a comfy sleeping position- one must go through several and spin like a rotisserie chicken to arrive at the position you started with.

Recently showed Pinocchio (1940) to my partner and it was delightful to see how much they hated Jiminy Cricket. They said that he was the "Jar-Jar Binks of the movie" and would have "overturned democracy if given the chance."

Woke up from an accidental nap and I can remember that I had some sort of epiphany during the dream but can't remember what the fuck it was. Frustrating

Stories that would be improved by polyamory:

Dracula: it's basically a novel of kitchen-table polyamory already, but this way someone might actually kiss Jack Seward.

A Midsummer Night's Dream: just let them all have an orgy at the end. I feel like they'd be into it. Puck's invited too if he wants.

Bridget Jones' Diary: why force a choice between Mark and Daniel if there was the option to have both?

Any Arthuriana: less cheating, more honesty, fewer duels, more snogging, everyone's a winner.

Stories that would be made worse by polyamory:

Wuthering Heights: dear God do not give Cathy and Heathcliff a reason to drag more people into their terrible relationship than are already involved.

yo 44 year Old man please let Me bite You

🎶 How do you like your eggs in the morning?🎶

With all of the money in the cash register.

Hey babe wanna take my spine? Not in a sexy way