I Am The Red-legged Bard,

I have found something great but I don't know know which to choose.

I sat down after dinner and now I have woken up 3 hours later and boy oh boy things do be feeling

Fuck gender, be bread

Bully: your a boy not a girl.

younger me: no i'm a girl. I'm just a tomboy.

bully: well you're too masculine. dress like a girl.

younger me: * grows out hair and wears feminine clothes"

bully: your too feminine. it's weird.

younger me: *cuts hair short and wears masculine*

bully: you're to-

me: FUCK YOU i'm too tired to fucking care. I want to be a piece of bread. Fuck gender be bread.

Fake-Fan

In all honesty, in half of the fandoms, I am stalking I haven't touched the source material. I either 1. my friends like it and assume That I like it too so they get me merch, 2. I like the music from the source material so it gets recommended to me 3. I saw an offshoot of the main product. An example is that I thought D&D was a book series because I had been gifted a bestiary from the game.

what if the purge was real?

me:idk.

alex:arson just light stuff on fire

virgil:theft steal stuff I want

sofea:nothing crime is wrong

V.D: murder people are pests

First Kisses

First kisses are always messy,

Rushed with the flair of emotions and the ring of the bell,

The taste of blood mixed with strawberry chapstick when braces caught on my lips,

Smiling too much to even fully lock lips,

Yet your face is redder than the blood on my lips as we mutter out awkward goodbyes,

My day is filled with thinking of that moment,

Mulling over the mistakes and chewing on my swollen lip,

Maybe I need to try again,

If you let me.

Dumb Villain Idea

A villain notices they are getting a lot of attention online and eventually starts a social media account to talk to the fans they have amassed. They start joking about having their account get more followers than the hero but their fans take it very seriously and blow up the account in response the villain creates a video in which they congratulate their fans and mock the hero for being below them. they also say that if fans send them an outfit they will wear it in battle this becomes extremely popular with both fans and the media with fans sending everything from suits and extravagant gowns to risque outfits (rave clothing, virgin killers, etc.) to straight-up lingerie. It also becomes a game for fans to see if the outfits the villain wears will distract the heroes.

I'm writing smut and part of me wants to kill a character in the mild because they are going down on them and just what if they cross the legs and just snap the other person fucking neck.