Yearning - Robin Buckley X Fem!reader

yearning - robin buckley x fem!reader

summary: robin buckley has never fell for someone they way she has for you, but the way you feel for her contrasts the way she does hugely.

word count : 2,302.

originally posted on my wattpad account: -milevenx. go follow!

dedicated to ffearthingss on wattpad<3

the ending is super rushed, it took 2 weeks to write and edit so it sucks nearer the ending:(

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am i allowed to look at her like that?

robin's eyes softened and her smile grew as she stared adoringly at the girl she loved most from across the class. you and robin had been best friends for a few years, becoming close after you joined band.

you had a problem with your instrument, and robin ran over to help you. blushing profusely, she explained what was wrong and how to fix it, before helping you out. from that encounter onwards, you just became closer.

close enough for you to see her as a sister and for her to fall deeply inlove with you. steve and the party could honestly tell she was head over heels for you, except you. she adored everything about you.

the way she laughed at all your jokes, and admired the way you laughed at anyone else's. the way you'd stick up for the party and her. the way you spoke and put up with her rambling. the way you dressed and did your hair. the way you'd help anyone with anything.

she was inlove with you and the way you were.

she didn't stop staring at you, and - if it was even possible - her smile grew and grew. it wasn't long before she snapped out of it, soon realising the looks she was getting. your friends were pointing and whispering, and other people in class were staring at her. however, in the midst of it all, there you were smiling back at her, giving her a sense of comfort.

could it be wrong

when she's just so nice to look at?

the bell rang, and you waited for robin next to the door of the classroom. she walked out of the class after a short conversation with the teacher about her 'focus being off'.

"hey robin!" you greeted as she walked to you. she smiled widely at you, returning the smile you were giving her.

"hey y/n/n," she spoke, smile evident in her words. "would you wanna hang out with me later? we can just go to mine and watch a movie."

you agreed instantly since movie nights were a usual thing for you to do with each other. you'd binge-eat, while watching movies the other person chose. you often took turns to choose movies and neither of you ever complained.

as you were walking to the lunch hall, you began to build courage to ask her a question. it was a silly question really, but you didn't know how she'd react.

"uhm, robin," you started, robin turned to look at you and hummed a short 'hmm?'. "please don't take this the wrong way, but.. why were you staring at me in class?"

robin stopped in her tracks and started going red. her freckles were almost indistinguishable through the redness of her newly-found blush.

"is it wrong?" she asked, fear laced in her words.

"not at all, just wondering is all."

"well, i think you're nice to look at." she stated bluntly, going even more red than before. her heart started beating through her chest, and her palms got sweatier and sweatier by the minute.

why the fuck would she say that? you were straight! you would never love her. you liked men. thoughts like this ran freely through robin's head, making her feel stupid.

you chuckled, bringing her back to reality, "well, lucky for you, i think you're wonderful to look at," you joked, though, to robin, it wasn't funny. she was inlove with you! and, through all the jokes and mild teasing, she knew you didn't reciprocate her feelings. robin bit her lip and began walking again, leaving you behind.

and she smells like lemongrass and sleep

she tastes like apple juice and peach

oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture

and she means everything to me

you didn't see robin for the rest of the day, and when you didn't see her at your regular meeting spot, you assumed you'd hurt her feelings during your most recent conversation so she just went home. this thought saddened you, but you shrugged it off and decided you'd just talk to her the next day.

robin sat in her room, flicking through her magazine before throwing it onto her desk. she stood from her chair and walked over to her bed to lie down. thoughts of you immediately rushed into her head. what you smell like, and would probably taste like. the way you looked.

you smelt like lemongrass, and sleep. you would taste like apple juice and peach, two things you ate and drank on a daily basis, and, in her eyes, she thought you'd be found in a polaroid picture. because you were just simply beautiful.

she sighed, knowing that although you'd never disclosed your sexuality to anyone or her - despite being her best friend - you'd never love her the way she loves you. she was helpless. she decided that instead of sulking about not having the girl of her dreams, she'd think about everything she loved about being your best friend. every thought had to be about you.

oh, oh

i'd never tell

no, i'd never say a word

she thought hard for around ten minutes, but all she could think of was how much you meant to her. and that was a whole lot, and she couldn't screw the friendship up. what if, when she did finally get the courage to ask you out, you rejected her? and that meant she completely fucked your friendship up? what if she never even got the courage to do it in the first place?

and that's exactly what happened, she decided that she just wasn't going to tell you. she didn't want to ruin anything. she didn't have the courage.

and oh, it aches

but it feels oddly good to hurt

the next day came around slowly for you, but quickly for robin. you wanted answers, and so did she; yet, for different things. you wanted to know what the hell was up with your best friend, and she wanted to know if you loved her the same. the biggest difference, however, was that you were actually going to ask.

you caught robin in the sports hall at break, getting ready for the pep rally that was going to happen the following day. she always enjoyed being prepared.

"hey, robin," you smiled. "we missed our movie night last night." you smiled wider, obviously faking it since she left you waiting at your meeting spot, trying to ease her into conversation due to her reaction yesterday. she looked up at you and then looked away almost instantly.

"uhm, did i say anything bad to you, you know. yesterday?" you asked, voice breaking. this broke robin's heart even further, aching terribly. you walked closer to her and sat down next to her.

and she smells like lemongrass and sleep

she tastes like apple juice and peach

oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture

and she means everything to me

you were sat close enough for her to fully take in everything about you. she was correct, you really did smell like lemongrass and sleep. your breath smelt like apple juice and peach, meaning it must've tasted like that too. and you were certainly dressed to impress, confirming her suspicions that you'd be found in a polaroid picture, and you definitely meant everything to robin.

after she'd admired you briefly, she answered you; "no, i was just having an off day," which was understandable, she'd been caught staring at a girl in the middle of class. robin waved all of your other questions off with a smile and a small nod or shake of her head. the bell rang, and you walked together to class, one where, yet again, you sat nowhere near her. she knew she'd end up staring again, so robin had to just try not to get caught.

around thirty minutes had gone by, and partner work had begun. she watched the way you threw your head back and laughed loudly at whatever stupid joke your friend told you, and the way you messed around with your hair and the pencil in your hand.

and i'll be okay,

admiring from afar,

'cause even when she's next to me,

we could not be more far apart

she found herself admiring you again, feeling more distressed with every second that passed. she wondered if she ever got you, would you ever be as happy with her as you were with your friends?

but robin forced herself into thinking she was okay with the feeling of having to admire you from across the room.

the day went quickly, you'd gotten your answers, and you were both looking forward to the movie night you'd replanned at lunchtime since you missed the last one.

you and robin were walking back to her place after picking out a few movies from family video, the place she worked at alongside steve 'the hair' harrington; someone you weren't exactly familiar with but had heard lots about.

this time, it was robin's turn to choose the movies. she chose the first two karate kid movies, two movies you enjoyed immensely but she never got around to watching.

"i can't believe you've never watched the karate kid movies!" you laughed, "ralph macchio in it is just gorgeous." you nudged robin.

"i bet he is." robin replied bluntly. you didn't even know she was into girls, not guys, and robin knew this. also knew that if she kept up with the shitty, uninterested tone, you'd soon figure it out. you weren't dumb.

and so, she decided to try and be happier.

try.

when you reached her place, you ran to her couch to put the movie on while she grabbed your favourite snacks - which she knew off the top of her head - and then sat carefully beside you.

the movie began, and the first hour of the movie night was going great. you and her were both concentrating on the movie, but then robin had the sudden urge to look at you, something she was trying to avoid doing. to not forget the movie and be so attentive towards you.

she did it, she gave in. she started watching you, the way you were delighting in watching ralph macchio play a boy called daniel larusso. the way you quite obviously felt a huge admiration for him. the way you adored his accent, looks, and the way he moved.

the way you felt such fondness for a boy.

the way you felt so far from her. emotionally, physically, mentally. you just felt like you weren't there. robin didn't know how, or why. it just felt wrong to see you like that.

'cause she tastes like birthday cake,

and storytime, and fall

but to her, i taste of nothing at all

you ended up sleeping over that night at robin's house, leaning into her side as you slept peacefully. she did what she always did, admired you. though, it wasn't creepily. it was full of love and fear; full of time and happiness; full of pure sensation and joy.

the look of love.

robin decided to try and go back to sleep, but thoughts of you flooded her head again. the same one as before. what you'd taste like. this time, she thought of birthday cake, and storytime, and fall. if they had tastes, which they do.

she started to think about the smells and tastes she associates you with, and that they're all good and come to her instantly.

though, to you, she tastes of nothing at all.

you just simply have no attraction to her.

whatsoever.

and she smells like lemongrass and sleep.

and she tastes like apple juice and peach.

you would find her in a polaroid picture.

and she means everything to me.

yes, she means everything to me.

she means everything to me.

robin wrote these words frantically in her diary the night you went home from your accidental sleepover. pouring her heart onto the pages, crying to slow romantic music and the words she was so sadly jotting down on the paper, with the karate kid movies playing in the background. anything to make her feel better.

she felt like she'd been stabbed in the heart repeatedly, like she'd gone through the worst breakup ever, or the worst rejection.

and all you had to do was sit next to her and gawk at ralph macchio and leave her to her thoughts for five minutes.

long enough to break her own heart.

you had a huge impact on her, and she hated that. and what she hated even more was that if you knew that, you'd also hate it. you'd hate it the most, you always just wanted the best for robin.

and what she thought was the best for herself, was to have you. to get the girl. but, she couldn't force you. so she wouldn't.

and she never would.

•°. *࿐˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

OMGOMOGM I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS ONE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH<3333

AND IM SORRY IF YOU DONT LIKE DANIEL LARUSSO/RALPH MACCHIO OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS THAT I SAID THE READER LIKES, I JUST WANTED TO ADD IN MY OWN INTERESTS

222. you're safe here.

222 | a message of hope, representative of balance, harmony, life choices, commitment, compromise, and trust. it's a sign you can build on your current situation to achieve your goals and more