TLOU2 And The Stages Of Grief

oooooo a Loki X reader wedding of some sort to give us a lethal dose of fluff

The Wedding of Loki Laufeyson

Summary: Life has been going well for Loki Laufeyson, all things considered. He’s finally paid off his debts and restored his honor, and now that his parole has ended, he’s free to reclaim his place as a Prince of Asgard. There are many things that he’s eager to do - to travel without supervision again, for one, and to spend at least a few days in bed with his mortal love…

He just has to make it through his wedding, first.

Word Count: 1878

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

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— God is so obviously a man, so the Devil protects her sisters - c.k 

insp [1/2]

hello! I'm really into writing with someone interesting :)

ID #70315

Name: Ilyes Age: 18 Country: France Hello everyone My name is Ilyes, and I’m a french boy. I want a penfriend to improve my english and discover a new personality Preferences: Ages: 18+, Gender: any

Captain America: Civil War by Paolo Rivera / Tumblr

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

Are You Still Awake? - Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: There’s a P!ATD song in here, it’s Crazy = Genius my actual anthem. So yeah, listen to that if you haven’t. It’s pretty bomb. That’s all, I think. oH WAIT IT’S NOT. I’M NINE FOLLOWERS AWAY FROM MY FIRST HUNDRED SO I WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU ALL.

Warnings: Mention of a drunken father, arguing parents, hint of abuse, other than that it’s a fluff ball.

Prompts ( 1 , 2 ): “It’s midnight, what do you want?” and “Are you still awake..?”

Words: 1226

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Do Me a Favor (Part 9)

Summary:  AU! Bucky Barnes and you are neighbors and close friends. As a huge favor, Bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a relative’s wedding and you agree.

Word Count: 2,227

Warnings: None.

“Do Me a Favor” Masterlist

A/N: Here’s part 9, guys! Yes, this is Let’s Pretend all over again, I am only making minor changes.

You gasped, covering your mouth with a hand as the hurt hit your chest. You hadn’t thought about Bucky ever walking away from you. Bucky had been a permanent fixture in your life for so long and now… Tears streamed down your cheeks, pain invading every fiber of your being. It had only taken three days for everything to fall apart, for your most intimate relationship to come apart at the seams.

You bent at the waist, letting the bitter tears out and muffling your sobs with your hand. You didn’t want anyone barging in, attempt to offer you comfort for this. It had been your decision after all. You knew how Bucky was, how much he feared new things. And you had still fallen for that smile, those expressive eyes. Had let the bliss of a dance and the close proximity of handsome Bucky reel you in, and you were gone. Hook, line, and sinker.

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Hello and goodbye. I am Bucky Barnes, and this is my letter to you.  I don’t have much time. If I could, I would write pages upon pages, line upon line Stroke upon stroke. But I can’t. They’re listening; they’re everywhere. They stain the walls with dried blood and grime And plague the inner workings of my mind I cannot escape them. This place is filthy; horrors echo through the iron cell, reminding me that I am not a person. Only an asset. The red star is a symbol of my death And each time I see its evil glint on my left arm, I hold my breath. I have one memory of my mother. She told me when I’m afraid, I need to close my eyes and be strong. I did that while I was strapped to a chair made of lightning. And when I woke up, I forgot who I was. She said the bad thoughts go away, but they don’t. The entities manifest in 10 words, buzzing in my head like a plague of moths. My mind is a corpse of what it used to be. There are some things I adore One being a distant memory of a blonde haired man, And the other a red-headed girl I see in the outer circles of this hell. I don’t know her name; and I don’t know the man’s name. But they help me deal with this nightmare. The girl reminds me of a blood red sunset and the man reminds me of a life I never got to live. The distant memory of my mom helps too. I can feel her warm smile when I’m locked inside the cage of forgetfulness. I didn’t want this. I never asked for this. I joined the fight for peace, But now I’m fighting for what’s left of my sanity.  I was unaware of the darkness lurking beneath the layers of false hope And now I’m a deer caught in headlights, falling quickly into oblivion. I’m sorry for all I’ve done. I pray next to the metal bars that drip with the memories I can no longer recall. I pray for a god to deliver me into exaltation- I hear the demons coming. Their laughter is bouncing off the brick barriers. It’s a haunting sound. I have to go. But before I do, I’ll tell you this. They will break me, torment me, hurt me. When I’m strapped to the chair of lightning, or when I’m bleeding on the floor in the name of supposed restoration, I will get back up and write to you again, because that is how I will be strong. I will be strong.  I promise.

Bucky’s letters from behind the iron walls of HYDRA. (Part 1) Jasmine Walter (Part 2 found here)

Professor Carter

word count: 1735

request: could you write a fic where Peggy Carter goes to Hogwarts? by @mariagvogel

warnings: mentions of war, my english

A/N: I loved this request and I hope this is what you imagined. This is actually rather without much content since I didn’t really know what to write about but if you have any other requests with Peggy going to Hogwarts, please tell me.

The professors at Hogwarts were usually well respected. Sure, there were one or two who didn’t have as much a authority as others and the students seemed to not always be at one about who those professors were. There was one thing, though, all the students seemed to agree on.

Professor Minerva McGonagall had the utmost respect of all teachers and students, even more so than Dumbledore.

A lot of those young wizards and witched that roamed the halls of the old castle had her as their idol for her talent and confidence was something everyone would have liked to have.

But who did McGonagall have as an idol when she had been just a student?

Well, that would be a lady the Hogwarts’ residents would soon get to know as their new DADA professor…

_____

“Albus, I got a reply”, Minerva said as she walked into the headmaster’s office. It was still summer break, which meant that the wizarding school was unusually quiet. However, Dumbledore and McGonagall were already planning the next school year and enjoying the last weeks that the halls wouldn’t be filled with noisy teens.

“I thought I had told you that Mister Scroop would be the next years DADA professor”, Dumbledore said without even looking up from the papers he was currently reading.

“I don’t think that’s a wise idea, Albus. That man’s way too old to be teaching the students anything, let alone powerful curses and counter curses!” McGonagall wrinkled her nose at that thought.

“Why not employ someone competent who would successfully prepare the kids?”

She emphasized the word prepare to make sure that Dumbledore knew exactly what she was talking about.

Dumbledore just sighed.

“I would feel better if we didn’t have to prepare them for anything…”

“Oh Merlin, Albus that is not our choice! There is a upcoming war and half if not all of those kids will be fighting it! We have to prepare them as best as we possibly can and you cannot tell me that there is any better choice than her! Except, of course, you teaching them how to defend themselves!”

“You flatter me Minerva”

“There is no time for flattery. This is a school and a school ought to teach its students accordingly, especially in times like this! Since you didn’t follow my advice, I took matters in my own hands and wrote her. I just got the reply that she is willing to be the new Defense against the Dark Arts professor. Are you really willing to let such an opportunity slip away? Because of what, Albus?”

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and put the papers aside. He took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

In times like this he looked rather like an old, tired man, than like the powerful wizard that he actually was.

“I am afraid, Minerva. What if employing her will only intensify the children’s’ wish to fight?”

“It is not in our power to protect them forever, but it is our duty to prepare them as best as possible for the world and right now that means for war. And, Albus, I’m sure that she won’t tell the children fairy tales about a romanticized war.”

“You are right, of course. You seem to always be right”, Dumbledore smiled at the witch, “I will  inform Mister Scroop of the change of plans and trust you to write our new professor that we would

be honored to welcome her to the first day of the coming school year.”

McGonagall nodded and turned to leave but before she exited she turned around again,

“Thank you”, and then left the office.

______________

The great hall was buzzing with noises. The sorting was over, and the tables had filled with food which means that the feast was in full swing.

After a while Dumbledore stood up and clapped his hands, making the food disappear and getting everyone’s attention.

“Welcome dear students for another, hopefully informative but also merry year at Hogwarts. There has been a few changes regarding the staff. As you see…”

Most of the students didn’t listen to a word the headmaster said, as they were too full to or simply too bored since most year’s speeches were rather similar to each other.

One point, however, got everyone’s attention:

“… As for the new Defense against the Dark Arts professor, we are happy to welcome Professor Carter into our ranks…”

He wasn’t able to say anymore, since a loud and excited uproar erupted. Of course every student knew the infamous Margaret Carter, one of the most successful aurors of all time and founder of the IWR, the International Wizarding Relations and the DIS, the Department of International Security. The thought that they would be taught by someone as powerful and experiences as her was enough to spread excitement through the whole castle; even the portraits and ghosts started gossiping.

Dumbledore was able, however, to get the students quiet enough to finish his speech.

“As I was saying, we are welcoming Professor Carter, who is unfortunately unable to join the feast today but will be here to her first lesson tomorrow morning. Now off to bed and have a good night!”

______________

The Gryffindor common room was quiet, only a few fires lit the cozy, red and golden room. Every Gryffindor was already in a deep slumber, too exhausted from the return to Hogwarts. Well, everyone except four boys, who were lying wide awake in their dormitory, discussing their new professor.

“Imagine what things she could teach us!” James exclaimed, jumping from his bed, closely followed by his best friend Sirius.

“No, imagine what things she has seen!”

“Guys! I’m sure someone like her has seen a lot but let’s be real, even someone like Peggy Carter needs to follow the curriculum! She won’t teach us extraordinaire curses…”

“Come on Remus, you’re such a killjoy!”

Remus rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep himself from laughing as he watched Sirius and James chasing each other, pretending to be in a dangerous battle to against some dark force.

“Come on over, Peter”, Remus laughed as Sirius jumped on the younger boy’s bed to escape some wicked curse, James had aimed at him, “We can share my bed until they’ve finished their battle”

The little, chubby boy climbed out of his own and into Peters bed, a relieved expression prominent on his face.

“Thanks, Rem”

The laughter of the four friend could be heard for a while as they chased and tickled each other.

_____________

“Good Morning class”, a strong and authoritative voice echoed through the loud classroom.

“Mister Black, if you would be so kind to return to your seat and take Mister Potter with you, I think Miss Evans should have a break from his obtrusive and ridiculous behavior, thank you”

In an instant the classroom was so quiet, you could’ve heard an needle fall to the ground. All eyes were set on a middle-aged woman, dressed in elegant black robes: Professor Margaret Carter.

“I am Professor Carter, your new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. I favour a teaching concept  after the saying ‘learning by doing’ but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any theoretical units. For those I have brought my own books”, books started to fly through the room, so that each student had one exemplar, “in there you’ll find theoretical background info and practical instructions. I will structure my lesson so that you’ll learn the theoretical parts mostly as homework – I am sorry Mister Potter will that be a problem for you?- so that we’ll be able to do the practical part during the lessons, where I can instruct and help you to improve your abilities. If there are any questions don’t be shy to ask. And one other thing: Some people take longer to work out a spell than others, that is not a problem! As long as I see that you try your best and that you work hard, I will count your efforts. Are there any questions so far?”

The lesson went on smoothly with only a few interruptions. Professor Carter answered a lot of questions about her past, her years at Hogwarts and her work but still managed to get through the first chapter of the school book.

___________

It was late in the evening when Minerva heard a knock on the door that led to her office. She sighed and stood up from her large wooden desk. She rubbed her tired eyes and opened the door, expecting  Filch to tell her that some kids had been found outside their dormitories despite the late hour. What she did not expect was an old friend smiling warmly at her.

“Well, hello Minerva. I was wondering if you’d still be up and thought you might like to share a cup of tea with a friend?”

“Peggy, come in, come in!”

The new DADA professor followed Minerva into her office and sat down opposite from her at the wooden table. Minerva charmed a teapot to fill itself and produced some biscuits from a closet.

“So, how was you first day?” She asked Peggy

“Oh, it was surprisingly good, even though I already encountered the infamous Marauders you told me about.”

“What did they do this time?” Minerva asked while rolling her eyes exasperatedly.

“Nothing, they all seem to be very talented and bright boys, although I have to say they make an interesting group. I mean a Black as a Gryffindor, a twelve year old who already knows who he wants to marry – my sympathy to that Evans girl – and a werewolf…”

Minerva nodded in agreement but rose her eyebrows in confusion at the last statement.

“How do you…”

“…know that Remus Lupin is a werewolf?” Peggy finished Minerva’s question.

“I worked in the Ministry quite some time and believe me, his case caused quite the uproar back then… and Minnie, I do recognize a werewolf if I see one! Sure he is young, but the scars are unmistakably werewolf ones”

Minerva smiled at her friend, “Of course you do, I shouldn’t be surprised by now, should I?”

Both women laughed and continued to reminiscent old times well into the night.

i will not ask you why you were creeping (in some sad way i already know)

this is part three to this azriel and his best friend fic :)

azriel x reader

word count: 5.8k

warnings: mentions of bad family dynamics and childhood trauma, mentions of canon typical violence

summary: starfall has passed, but the revelations of the night keep her anxious and a little embarrassed. there's nothing like having a best friend to ease all your worries - until he goes on a mission, that is

a/n: here it is finally!! I hope you enjoy it and make sure to let me know what you think :) all feedback is welcome! if you want to be added to the taglist let me know here

“Oh, he did not say that!”

“I swear to the Mother, Az! And he looked so pompous too!” a rare laugh bubbled out of the shadowsinger’s lips. He was sitting up over the navy blue covers of his bed, almost doubled over, his stomach hurting from laughter.

“I cannot believe you kept this story from me for a full week” she giggled in response.

The pair of best friends were currently locked inside Azriel’s bedchambers, after she came running into his room about an hour earlier with one groaned out in exasperation explanation - “Cassian and Nesta,” she had practically growled out while throwing herself head first into his pillows “again! It’s the fifth time this week!”

The cause for her visit in his chambers may have been out of a need to escape the sounds that the mated pair made, but Azriel welcomed her with open arms and a big smile, as always. That was one thing about her best friend - there was always some form of smile on his face, each time he saw her.

It was special, that he reserved those moments for her only - and their other family members too - sweet, even.

“You got any other recent stories from your studio for me?” Azriel asked with a quirked eyebrow as he settled back against his bed, biting on one of the freshly baked cookies she had brought with her.

“Not really, you know. Starfall season is over so there’s not that many customers now” she had opened up a dressmaker studio a few decades earlier, despite Azriel’s insistence that she did not have to work, that Rhysand had enough money to support her.

But she had wanted to work.

She never had the chance to before and even though it initially came as another piece of defiance against her parents - she had a need for many of those when she first fled her hometown - it quickly became a great passion of hers.

Dresses were one of the few things from her old life that she did really love, despite how poorly she used to make them for the first few years. She’s pretty sure Rhysand had spent more money to keep it open than the shop actually made. He would never admit it to her though. Now, however, she was one of the most renowned dressmakers in Velaris.

She still pictured her parents' faces if they found out she was a working female now. This was one of the few things they couldn’t bring her down about.

Yes, it was outrageous that a highborn female like her chose to work - with her hands too - but she was successful at what she did. They could insult her about it all they liked, but they couldn’t take her skills away from her.

Sometimes it felt like a sole proof that she could do well in life without them, without their money and prospects and marriage and the golden cage she had spent her youth in.

Sometimes it felt like a lifeline to hold onto, when anxiety and guilt wrecked her guts.

She was still, so, so embarrassed about starfall. She woke up the morning after already dreading seeing Azriel again after he saw her fall apart like that.

Despite it not being the first time. Despite it likely not being the last time either.

But he acted as though nothing had happened - took her out to breakfast before helping her tidy up the studio for opening in a few days.

She knew that the good weeks now were like sunlight before the storm. She could feel the unease already brewing deep inside her. The two months mark would be here soon and- she didn’t even want to think about the mess that would follow.

Azriel knew. Of course he did.

He acted calmly, though, maybe so she could anchor herself to him, try and mirror his behaviour. He made sure she knew he was there for her, offering more long flights over the Velaris skyline than usual or bringing her new fruit flavoured pastries from a bakery down the street to her studio.

Only he could act like that and make it not feel like pity.

She didn’t know how to express gratitude, so she resolved to baking. Example: the cookies they were both currently snacking on.

She had just finished hers and now she lay flat on her stomach, playing with the shadows curling around her fingers.

“They’re so cute” Azriel visibly stopped in his tracks, the hand holding his cookie up to his mouth freezing

“Excuse me?” she glanced up at him

“Your shadows. They’re cute” her eyes momentarily gained focus after sensing Az’s startled reaction, a hint of sharp amusement awakening in them. He opened his mouth to argue, but before he could say anything, his shadows just about tripled in quantity. Curling and brushing around her whole body, twining around her fingers and lifting individual strands of her hair into the air.

Her eyes widened and she let out a giggle.

“Stop this. Right now.”

“I’m not even doing anything!”

“You know exactly what you’re doing” she burst out laughing at that, genuine joy shining off her eyes

“I’m not doing shit, it’s them!” and Azriel was shaking his head, nothing but fondness in his eyes as he looked at her, laying there in his sheets and blankets, catered to by his shadows. Something akin to a string pulled at his rib.

Eventually, Azriel spoke “Fine” he shrugged his shoulders and brought the cookie back up to his mouth to bite. t was intimate to see him so at ease. Laying in bed, posture and body fully relaxed shadows leisurely curling around the entirety of the room. It was vulnerable how safe they both were in each other’s presence.

“Fine?”

“You’re their favorite. Can’t argue with that” he said between chews.

She gasped, quirking up, legs bent and kicking in the air. “You really think so?” Azriel laughed softly.

“Of course I do”

She pursed her lips, and poked her cheek with her tongue in contemplation. Finally, she huffed “You’re making me blush so we’re changing the subject,” he was shaking his head again, smiling softly at her, arms bent behind his head, resting against the headboard.

“Any missions this week?”

“Yeah. One in the continent. Tomorrow” a bit of loaded silence followed, and then

“What? Really?” his eyes softened when he noticed how she visibly deflated. She stopped kicking her legs, the fingers playing with his shadows stilling their movement too.

“I just found out today, sweetheart. But it should only last one day”

“Yeah, okay then” she moved up the bed to sit next to him, moonlight reflecting against her nightgown “Promise you’ll be careful?”

Azriel could swear something even the Mother herself could not explain was happening to his heart.

His fingers clenched and unclenched as he fought the urge to do something. Gods, he was barely able to breathe when the sweet scent of her shampoo hit his nose and there she was kneeling next to him like it was nothing.

Green eyes wide, hopeful and waiting looking up at him and golden-brown curls cascading down her shoulders and over her breasts.

She was in his bed, covered in his scent, shadows and blankets, clad in nothing but a nightgown after bringing him godsdamned cookies to eat.

How was he expected to function properly?

Her full lips parted when he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Of course I promise, angel,” Azriel replied with a raspy voice. And with that, the night went on.

After a while, her movements started to become slower, sluggish even. Sleepy girl.

“Tired?” she only nodded.

He sometimes wondered whether the reason behind how often she became sleepy when next to him was because she felt safe.

Mother, he hoped it was.

The alternative was far more daunting and sent a spike of alarm through his mind - was she overworking herself at the studio? No, surely his shadows would have informed him of that.

“Want me to walk you to your room?” his heart clenched awaiting her response, before immediately warming up when she said:

“What, you won't let me sleep here? No sympathetic cuddle for your best friend?” her smile was sheepish as she already lowered herself onto the pillow he usually slept on.

Azriel chuckled, laying down next to her, bringing the covers and a wing to keep her ever chilly body warm.

“All the cuddles my best friend wants, she gets”

“Wake up,” there was a voice disturbing her sleep. Azriel’s voice. “Sweetheart. Wake up”

“Leave me alone”

A chuckle escaped Azriel’s lips as he crouched in front of his bed. He let her sleep in when he sneaked out of bed earlier to get ready for his mission.

Partially because he had wanted to let her sleep in, and partially because she turned into a demon whenever someone tried to wake her up.

“Come on, angel,” he brushed a hand down her hair. She was laying on her side, facing him, features relaxed.

A familiar feeling warmed his chest to see her like that. And he hated that he had to leave, that he couldn’t get under the covers next to her and-. He has work to do.

Azriel tried again in a soft, warm tone “Open your eyes”

The groan she let out was bordering on growling “Seriously Azriel if you don’t-”

“I have to go”

A bit of silence ensued, her brow furrowed and then she was groaning again, turning onto her back. “Your mission wouldn’t get ruined if you slept for an extra hour, for Mother’s sake”

He didn’t say anything, waiting for her to open her eyes.

After a few seconds she scooted closer to him, but stayed on the bed. She draped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder, barely awake.

Sleepy, grumpy girl.

The movement made him sway and spread out his wings to balance himself. Absent-mindedly, he buried his nose in her hair.

“Be careful. And come back to me quickly, alright?”

“Alright. I promise”

She slowly raised herself up onto her elbows, eyes lidded, still half asleep, movements slow. “M’ sorry if I was mean”

“You were actually quite nice. For your standards”

“Hmph”

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be back for dinner” before his sentence was out, she had already laid back on the bed and snuggled her face into his pillow.

“M-” she yawned, eyes drifting close “Mkay”

After sparing one lengthy glance at her soundly sleeping form in his sheets, Azriel was out the door to meet Rhysand who would give him some final instructions.

He would also give him shit for making him wait for the extra fifteen minutes that the spymaster spent trying to coax his best friend awake.

He wouldn’t pay it any mind.

The day at the studio was incredibly boring, as she had expected. The post-starfall lull came every year without fail.

At one point she had considered closing shop for the day, but working seemed to be good on her mind.

Working meant she didn’t worry about her parents, and about Azriel. Who hadn’t even told her what his mission was about. Or where exactly it was.

Was it because she had talked over him so much that he hadn’t even had the chance? Gods, she hoped not. And she hoped he wasn’t offended she fell asleep on him mid-conversation, again.

It kept happening and she wanted to stay awake for longer to spend more time with him, the Mother knew she did, but her eyes always closed on their own accord. Which was especially strange considering that for most of her youth, she had huge trouble with sleep.

Whether it was waking up in terror in the dead of night, or being unable to fall asleep at all - she had dreaded almost every nightfall back in her family estate. Even though it was the only time she could ever really be herself - unjudged and unguarded.

She shook her head - those years were well past her.

Well, she hoped so, at least.

The day passed quickly - she spent it starting up on some projects that she may or may not finish just in time for spring to arrive.

Except for when a few customers came in, the quiet of the shop had been filled with her soft humming. And a little bit of talking to herself.

Well, not entirely to herself. She spoke to the shadow that Azriel always left with her when he left on missions. Or the shadow stayed behind on its own whim, as her best friend never mentioned leaving it with her.

Either way, with Azriel away, it was the sole subject of her babbling. Up until afternoon, that is, when Elain Archeron came into the shop.

She was alerted with the presence of a new customer, courtesy of the bell hanging over the door.

“Just a second! I’ll be right there!” she squealed out from the backroom. She hadn’t expected any more customers today, especially so near closing.

“Oh, it’s alright!” came a soft voice from the main room of the shop “Take your time”

“Oh, hi Elain!” she said walking to greet her friend “What brings you here?”

“I was just running some errands and wanted to check up on you” if even Elain of all people resorted to this gentle handling and coddling her, then she didn’t even want to imagine what would go down on dinner tonight.

They all still talked about starfall, then.

She appreciated the worry, she really did, but frankly there was nothing for them to do. And she couldn’t ask a High Lord to send out a letter telling her father to frankly, fuck off. Even though he probably would, if it came to it. But she did not want to let someone else handle her life for her, ever again.

She would be fine. Even if dismissing the whole situation probably didn't prove that she could, in fact, fix all of her problems on her own.

The female must have noticed her lack of response and opened her mouth to say something, but she was quickly cut off “I’m fine, Elain, really” she told her friend with a tight lipped smile.

“Are you sure?” something about the look in the middle Archeron sister’s eyes told her she didn’t entirely believe her. Elain gripped both of her hands in hers and continued on “Because if you’re not-”

“I’m alright, really” she assured

“Well, if you say so” the female dipped her head sheepishly, words slow and unsure.

“Can we change the subject, please?” she walked toward the counter near the back of the studio “I have these new projects here, maybe you could take a look…”

The two females ended up taking more than just one look at the projects, as they were now, well over an hour later, sitting on the wooden floor of the shop, papers scattered around them.

Elain gasped as she looked at the time, saying she was supposed to meet with Lucien in a few minutes. She left quickly after complimenting her unfinished works.

She stood up from the floor, wiping her hands on the skirts of her dress. She had a bit of time for a general clean up before Cassian came to fly her to the house for family dinner.

She sighed out through her nose and fixed the ribbon holding half of her hair up. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she would say that she’d much rather hide in her bedroom all night than deal with more coddling from her family.

Maybe it was some long-ago built in shame for expressing vulnerability. She was supposed to sit pretty, quiet and pliant. What was scary was how sometimes, when she fell apart or was especially exhausted - that was a form she craved taking.

But she was alright now and it was ridiculous for her to require this much attention from the people around her.

As she went on with tidying up the studio, her mind wandered over to Azriel. She worried for him, as she always did, but she knew how experienced and seasoned he was. The mission wasn’t anything for him to even bat an eye over, she was sure.

And anyway, he was probably already on his way home.

Azriel did not yet appear to be on his way home. Her stomach churned as she squirmed in Cassian’s arms.

“What do you mean ‘he hasn’t reported to Rhys yet?’” she looked up at him, and wide eyes demanding explanation

“I’m sure he’s alright, seriously. I did not mean to worry you” Cassian replied with a light voice as he soared over the city. When she didn’t reply he looked down to find her still staring at him sternly, jaw clenched and eyes squinted. Uneasy in his arms. “If I knew this would be how you’d react, I’d never would have told you”

“Well that’s comforting, Cassian.” he bristled a bit, eyes softening at her worry.

“He probably just got held up somewhere. This has happened before, remember?” Cassian tried to reason “He usually comes home late”

“But he always reports it, no?”

Cassian sighed, adjusting his grip on her.

“I’m just worried, Cass”

“I know. But he’s fine, I’m sure of it”

Her worry had not eased one bit in the next half hour.

After immediately taking notice of Azriel’s absence at dinner, unease started to creep up her chest. It was possibly a bit unreasonable to get overly worried, this soon. This wasn’t the first time he was late from a mission.

But why hasn’t he reported back?

Everyone else at the table seemed to think exactly the same way Cassian did - that everything was fine. But she had a bad feeling about this.

She swore she could feel worry and anxiety in her chest as though someone had tied a string to her rib and actively pulled it. But with some more convincing from the inner circle, she chose to dismiss the worry for a little while.

If he didn’t get back when they were done eating, that’s when she would seriously start worrying.

“So, I heard you and Azriel are going on a trip to Summer Court soon?” Feyre asked in a light tone, a fair try at deflecting the conversation.

“What? Summer?” Cassian gasped at hearing the question. He looked at her, eyes wide with betrayal. “You guys know I can’t go!”

Nesta chuckled, patting her mate’s arm.

“You’ll live, big guy”

“Well,” she looked at Cassian, and smiled sheepishly “that’s because Az and I were planning on going alone”

Cassian just sat there, mouth hanging open, staring at her in disbelief. Nesta was fighting her smirk; Feyre, Elain and their respective mates were chuckling, while Mor was outright laughing in Cassian’s face.

“And you all knew about this?”

Silence, broken by a few giggles, engulfed the dining room of the House of Wind.

“Traitors” Cassian huffed, slumping back in his chair with his arms crossed.

And for a moment, a comforting lightness came over her. Her friends were all laughing, the evening was peaceful and Azriel surely would be home safe and sound soon.

That feeling lasted all but about ten seconds before a sharp voice cut through it like a knife.

“Well, it’s good to know you and Azriel will be gallivanting around another court while we will be left to deal with your family, once they come here” Amren spoke smoothly from her chair at the other end of the table, eyes sharp and focused.

The room was casted in a heavy silence.

Before she could open her mouth to say something, Rhysand was already shaking his head in disapproval. Violet eyes held warning in them as he spoke to the female. “I think that’s enough, Amren”

She scoffed. “What, you make a show of breaking down over this on Starfall and now Azriel is taking you away to have a vacation just when things will get dirty here?”

“I-” she stammered. A doe closed into a corner. “We haven’t decided on when we’re going-”

“Like that’s the issue here” there was a hint of disdain in Amren’s voice as she replied, before bringing her wine glass to her lips.

She looked down at her like she was a bug under her shoe.

This was strange, even for Amren - yes, they were never close friends, but their relationship was also never outright hostile like this. “What exactly is it that you’re planning to do when your father does come here, eventually?”

She didn’t say anything. Shame, so distinct that she could actually feel it cutting into her chest, burned her as she looked around the room.

Wide eyes confused the glances the rest of the inner circles were exchanging as hostile against her, when in reality they were meant against Amren. She felt her breathing become shallow, and more shame licked at her.

Stupid, foolish girl.

“That’s enough.” Rhysand said with finality, at which Amren smirked but sat back and looked away. Nesta glared at her.

She should be fine. She shouldn’t need this defense, all this coddling. She hated that about the matter of her parents so much - the subject left her feeling so defenseless.

Any thought of them was like twisting a knife that had been stabbed through her for her whole life.

The worst thing was that deep down, she knew Amren was right.

She had no plan, no idea what to do, and did in fact hope that her summer court vacation would overlap with her family’s visit. If you could even call it a visit.

The word invasion crossed her mind.

Gods, what a mess this was. She was.

And most of all, she felt stupid for wishing Azriel was here. She shouldn’t need anyone. She usually didn’t need anyone.

She shook her head, not wanting to ruin the evening for herself more. There were things to worry about, now that they were halfway through eating and Azriel was still not here.

With a picked up heart rate and shaky hands, she went on eating her meal. She didn’t look up from her plate once, so she didn’t see the worried glances her friends were exchanging.

Not like it would’ve been better on her mind if she had.

She has been pacing her best friend’s bedroom for half an hour now.

He should be here. Something is wrong, for sure.

More and more nightmarish scenarios passed through her mind as she ran her hands through her hair for the thousandth time.

Just when she was about to step out of the room to find Rhys or Cassian and Nesta, the door opened.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she watched the shadowsinger stumble into his bedroom. Her eyes zeroed in on the hand he was clutching at his stomach. Red stained his fingers.

Her breathing went in and out in short gasps and she didn’t notice the surprise on Azriel’s face when he saw her there.

Her presence alone was enough reason for happiness for Azriel to forget the pain shooting through his abdomen.

The sight of her, however, was not.

Her usually composed hairstyle was a mess, and when she moved to stabilize him when he stumbled in her direction, he noticed the bit through the skin on her fingertips. The look on her face didn’t help either.

She was scared. Worried.

“Are you alright?”

She stopped dead in her tracks, again, and then with a furrowed brow looked down at his abdomen, and then back to his face.

“You’re hurt” her voice was strained, heavy

“I’ll be fine” he went to go inside his room, and she caught him when he almost fell “Just need to-” he gasped “Lay down”

“No, Az, you need help,” she directed him into the bathroom instead and led him to sit on the closed toilet lid. “Here, I’ll get Rhys to call Madja”

“No”

She gave him a stern look. Sweet, caring girl. “Azriel.”

“I can patch myself up,” he laid back against the wall “No healers. And I’ll be fine s’long as you’re here, angel. Been thinking about you all day” he said with closed eyes.

Gods, he must be delirious from the bloodlost, she thought.

If he won’t see Madja she’ll have to heal him herself. A bunch of shadows handed her a medic kit.

Time was a blur as she set everything out and went to start stopping the bleeding and healing the cut. She knelt before Azriel, movements quick, but precise. Her brow was furrowed with concentration, but worry, too.

Why hadn’t he let anyone know that he was hurt? What has happened?

Azriel hissed in pain as she disinfected the already healing wound. He would be fine, she exhaled in relief.

“Sorry,” she grimaced, looking up at him. “I’m almost done”

Azriel looked down at her through lidded eyes, a small smile donning his lips.

After a moment, when he still wouldn’t look away, she continued on her work with pink-tinted cheeks. Azriel’s stupid smile widened.

He could get stabbed everyday if it meant she would take care of him.

Soon, she was done and helped him to bed.

With assistance from his shadows, she had managed to change him into sleeping clothes. The wound was almost healed already, but she still bandaged it up, just in case.

She exhaled for what felt like the first time in hours. Gods, she knew something was wrong. Still, something inside her eased at having him back at her side, even if hurt. At least this way she could personally make sure he would be taken care of.

And she had to admit to herself, as selfish as it was, she was eternally glad to have him here after that cauldron damned dinner. A feeling of safety came back to her chest like a puzzle piece being set in place.

Now that he wasn’t actively losing blood, Azriel could think a little straighter. He sat against his pillows as she fluffed them up for him, brow still furrowed with worry. He lifted a finger to smooth the lines of her forehead.

“You should be better soon, Az. How do you feel?” she gripped his forearm in her hand. Her wide eyes bored into his hazel ones.

“I’m alright”

She let out a sigh in relief that he was at least feeling better. “I’ll tell Cassian that you won’t come to training and I’ll go to Madja for some tonics for you first thing in the morning. I also read somewhere that-”

“Sweetheart” he interrupted her gently “I’m alright, really. No need to do any of those things”

“No, Az, you’re not training tomorrow morning. No way” he straightened up a little when he saw the seriousness in her eyes. The worry, the stress. Gods, she must have really worked herself up over this.

“Alright, okay. I’m not training tomorrow” he murmured gently, reaching up to tuck away a strand of her hair that fell out of the meddled up hairstyle.

She breathed out, nodding.

Sweet girl.

There was an aspect of vulnerability to their relationship that made it quite different from any other ones in their lives.

For example, Azriel was the only one who knew the true details of her past. Of why she acted the way she did when the subject came up, and he knew how to handle her when she got soft and sensitive about it too. And she let him. Only him.

It went the other way around as well.

She knew everything about his childhood and why now so often he kept to the corners and the shadows.

Why he sometimes felt as if he should not touch her with his bare hands. And she knew how to coax out his soft side, too. In fact, after a while it started coming out around her against his own will. And after a while, he started to love it, how safe he felt around her.

But there were corners of his mind that Azriel was still too wary to let even her into. Corners that he visited in his nightmares and in his darkest moments, but ones that somehow felt all too powerful over him.

That’s why when a heavy silence encapsulated Azriel’s darkened bedroom, when the air became heavy and both their breathing shallow, when the pair realized just how close they are to each other and she looked at him wide eyed, so expectantly, as if something groundbreaking were about to happen, lips already opening for him- He pulled away.

That was why he started some meaningless conversation, trying to ignore the way her face fell when he sat back, further away from her.

That was why he hated himself a little more than on his worst days as he told her minor details of the beginning of his mission, eyes not missing the water lining her eyes.

He swore, his shadows had never scolded him as much in his entire life as in that moment. And they were right to.

The conversation went on until Azriel succumbed to the tiredness of being wounded and fell asleep. She watched his breathing even out, and then stared at him for a little while more.

Then, she debated going back to her room to sleep, but quickly rejected that idea. What if something happened to his wound while he was asleep? No, she should stay. But it also felt wrong to lay next to him after he-

No, she must have misinterpreted the situation. Azriel would never try to-

Right?

She tried to dismiss the thoughts from her mind.

Gods, what was wrong with her?

She laid down in an armchair she had dragged to the side of his bed. Her best friend was hurt, and here she was thinking about kissing him. About how she wanted to but-. This is not the time and place.

Sleep wouldn’t claim her for a long time, so she resorted to sitting there and counting her best friend’s breaths. After a while, their steady rhythm pulled her eyelids to close.

The room was still dark when Azriel opened his eyes. Moonlight streamed in through the opened curtains.

Azriel hissed as he turned around. A sharp pain pulled at this stomach and he looked down to see bandages wrapped around his torso. The wound must not have fully healed yet.

His eyes took in his surroundings and the first thing he noticed was that the armchair pulled up to his bedside.

And the person in it.

With a furrowed brow Azriel took in his best friend, still dressed in her work dress, curled in the chair in a position that must have been uncomfortable to fall asleep in.

What was she doing? Why hadn’t she laid down next to him? Possibilities passed through his mind, and finally he landed on the most probable one - that she wanted to watch him while he slept without disturbing him.

He shook his head as he started getting up. Selfless girl.

Too selfless for her own good, if it meant she would have to deal with back or neck pain in the morning.

But her care was a sweet feeling that even after decades of knowing her felt strange to Azriel. Any other member of his family would’ve known he could patch himself up and not worry themselves into madness about one singular stab wound that was nothing new for him.

Because he would’ve been fine. He had no doubt that if something actually life threatening were to happen to him, his family would take care of him.

It was a sweet, strange feeling that she would care over things he discarded as insignificant. That anyone would ever enjoy taking care of him, and willingly take time out of their day to do so.

He breathed out through his nose as he reached down to scoop her into his arms.

He hoped she wouldn’t wake, if only because she would scold him from carrying her when wounded.

And as he laid her on his bed, he thought about how there was one part of her he would probably never understand.

That unfiltered, unprecedented care she had for him. He knew he reciprocated it, that it went both ways, but somehow her care towards him seemed greater.

Maybe it was because he was harder to love. There were many more ugly sides to him that she frankly lacked.

Maybe because sometimes when he touched her he could feel that ugliness actually seep into her skin.

By the Mother, if he were any less of a selfish male he would’ve stopped this a long time ago. But neither did he have the honour to make her aware of his darkness, as cheap as that may sound, nor did he have the guts to make her his fully.

He couldn’t bear to taint her. Not as he looked at her face pressed into his pillow. Not as he thought about how soft her skin was under his fingertips. And certainly not as he thought about the endless streams of tears she let out as she seeked comfort and safety in him because of how badly she was treated by the people meant to love her.

She entrusted herself to him and he was to ruin her with himself, now?

He ran a hand through her hair as he felt his own hatred for himself run deeper and deeper.

Sometimes, in his worst nightmares, he saw something horrible happening to her. Such a tragic incident would make her his match. In his worst nightmares, she always knew that it was all his fault, and still decided to stay. Putting herself on a clear path to destruction, for him.

And, truth be told, he didn’t know what to make of it. What to do. This was one of the only areas in his life, where Azriel felt stuck.

He was hers, for eternity and he has known that for a very long time. But there was a part of him that couldn’t let her do that to herself. That couldn’t let her accept the curse of loving him.

Could he protect her from himself? Did he want to?

He used to think that he could accept this, whatever they had. Whatever form of friendship or relationship she would offer, he would grab handfuls of.

Now, however, he knew there was a problem that made his chest tighten, heart rate pick up and scarred hands clench and unclench when in close distance to her.

The impatience that grew simmering hot in Azriel, waiting to spill over.

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