What if I was all wrong about the "SINNER REPENT" wall writing. What if it isn't a manifestation of the social attitudes of the 1960s (compulsory heterosexuality, gender binary, etc.). What if, like Spock's message of "LOVE MANKIND," Jim's message also speaks to a hidden fear? A fear that is not the breaking of a social taboo (be it a captain's duty and Starfleet regulations, an affair, non-heterosexual love, etc.), but a haunting thought from Jim's past: that he should not be alive, that his continued existence breaks the order of life itself by cheating a certain death. Hence, the use of the words "SINNER REPENT," a phrase that matches how Kodos moralized basic survival needs to justify his eugenics and massacre on Tarsus IV.
aftg is the opposite of that one post that's like "love was there, it didn't change anything" because love was there and it changed everything. i will always appreciate nora for believing in her characters' right to find love and heal and get their second and third and fifth chance.
That moment when you ponder loneliness and your first impulse is to give your first officer a yearning stare, making him extremely flustered.
my favorite dune posts ever
your random blorbo who happens to die is not doomed by the narrative. edith keeler is doomed by the narrative.
"Hold me like water. Or christ, hold me like a knife", he put it into words the need the human desperation to be held and chosen and wanted and just be in your lovers arms to be chosen either way to submit to them no matter how they want you, to choose it no matter what, as long as it's them, as long as they want you.
contrary to popular belief logan loves physical touch. he wants head scratches and chin scratches and just loves the warmth of somebody else beside him. the first time wade notices is when logan sits down on the couch one day and instead of sitting miles away, he sits right beside him and it’s so close that he’s practically sitting ON him and wade looks at him confused and logan states that he’s only sitting that close because he’s cold. the next time wade notices is when he tries to fix logan’s hair. he starts fixing it and then commenting about how soft it is which ends up with his hands in his hair because wade obviously can’t talk about his fluffy hair without having his hands all up in his hair and logan just goes soft and doesn’t have that frustrated facial expression he always has on. wade then calls him a good boy and in return wade gets a “fuck you” and a punch in the face. and as time continues logan’s hard exterior starts disappearing which leads to the inevitable and it’s all sorts of cuddles and hugs and logan constantly around wade because he’s a literal walking heater (and he’s in love with him). and despite them eventually getting together wade will always get a “fuck you” when he stares too long at logan but he always notices the blush on his face and smile he’s trying to hide
hey hold on a sec. we talk about what baltimore was like for kevin, neil, andrew, but can we talk about wymack for a second. Can we just.
the year before the twins and nicky signed at psu, two of wymack's foxes, ian and kirk, died in a car crash.
the next year, kevin day broke his hand and went to wymack, the only person he thought would keep him safe.
the year after that, seth gordon, the only surving member of wymack's original lineup, overdosed after he was so nearly clean, and it almost destroyed allison.
months later, andrew was attacked in columbia and committed to easthaven. aaron killed someone. andrew was gone and the others came back shattered.
then neil claims to go home for the holidays, they don't hear from him all of christmas break, and on new years, neil calls him and asks wymack to pick him up from the airport. he's there instantly and god, he looks half-dead. neil sees the 4 tattoo and tries to cut it off his face. all he can say is that he didn't sign to the ravens.
then there's the blood in the locker room. wymack can't push away the feeling that something's getting closer, something is coming to hurt his foxes and there's nothing he can do to stop it.
then. the game at binghamton. neil looks on edge but wymack doesn't ask what's wrong. neil and andrew are above his paygrade. then the riot. he can't see any of his kids in the crush. he finally pulls them all out, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight–
neil's gone. neil's gone and they can't find him. andrew can't find him. neil got taken by someone. what was that like for david wymack? did it feel too familiar? did he look at his kids and think not again, i didn't lose another one again. does it ever scare him. does it terrify him. when aaron came back from the police station in columbia, twenty four hours in holding and he couldn't look wymack in the eye, did he think what if i can't save these kids? when andrew was lying in a hospital bed, too drugged to react, did he think what if i can't give them their second chance? when neil grabbed that knife, when he fell to pieces on wymack's kitchen floor, when he came back to them in baltimore, bloody and broken, did wymack think why am i always too late?
i think one of my favorite things about aftg is how it so subtly shows such a deep level of affection through languages. like kevin learning french for jean even though it is a dangerous thing to do at the nest and neil and andrew learning a new language together post tkm and one of the first things jeremy asks jean being to teach him french. i want to know who you are in your mother language, i want to speak to you in a language that no one but us understands, i want to understand the language that you dream in
the devil in the dark is a great episode for sooooo many reasons but something i particularly love is its characterization of kirk & spock, especially how the story juxtaposes their initial attitudes vs. their actions as well as juxtaposing them against one another. for most of the episode, kirk is very firmly situated in the command role: he’s laser-focused on his goal of eliminating whatever has been killing the miners. he has a plan & he sticks to it. he can’t afford to entertain ideas about capturing the creature for scientific study rather than killing it, because that introduces more risk to his crew. his mission is to protect as many lives as possible, full stop.
however, when he sees the horta in that cave, his first instinct isn’t to shoot. he’s wary of course, brandishing a phaser for his own safety, but he’s also curious & gentle. he studies her with wonder shining in his eyes. his movements mirror her own—he immediately picks up on the fact that she isn’t necessarily hostile towards him, & in response, he slowly, carefully, sets aside his own hostility as well. he speaks to her, makes little jokes. he watches her in perpetual amazement & intrigue, very cautiously extending a metaphorical hand to say, i don’t want to hurt you. it’s a big leap from “your orders are shoot to kill,” & that reveals a lot about kirk. he’s a good commander, he knows how to handle a dangerous situation while minimizing risk to his crew, but he’s also curious. kind. optimistic. gentle. in the heat of the moment, when he’s the only one at risk, his basic instinct doesn’t say fight, it says listen.
meanwhile, spock is immensely intrigued by the horta; he regrets that it will most likely be necessary to kill her in order to protect themselves. he spends most of the episode speculating on the fascinating science of a silicone-based life form. he even (very subtly) challenges kirk’s order by telling the security team to capture the creature if possible. he isn’t eager to use force, because he simply isn’t that kind of person—he’s curious by nature, like kirk. so it seems a great shift when, upon hearing that the horta is near kirk, he shouts through the communicator, “kill it, captain! kill it!”
realizing that kirk is in danger is like flipping a switch. the way he carries himself changes in an instant. urgency flares to life in his eyes & voice. as wild with it as a vulcan can get. freezing in place, then breaking into a run, calling out, forgetting rank. to him, the most preferable—the most logical—course of action is not to explore why the horta has not attacked the captain yet; rather, it is to eliminate the threat to kirk as soon as possible.
in a way, they represent both a reversal & a mirror of each other in this episode. kirk is a decisive & capable fighter, but his instincts steer him towards gentler things. spock prioritizes scientific inquiry & discovery, but it all appears inconsequential when his friend’s life is on the line. they balance each other, complement each other. it’s why they’re such a good command team. it’s why they fall so easily into such a deep bond. both of them, ultimately, act from a place of love.
But I can see a lot of life in youSo I'm gonna love you every day
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