No Healing For This Curvy Girl In Bridgerton Season 3 (slight Spoilers)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Dark Side of Dimensions Movie Reaction!

My nostalgic heart is all a flutter from seeing Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions!!!

Whenever I look back on the original series, I can’t help but laugh at how cheesy (and so easy to make fun of) it was. Everything was so dramatized, despite the fact that all the fights were centered around and settled by playing a children’s card game.

But watching YGO DSD brought back those excited and heart pounding feelings I got when I first watched the series and began collecting the trading cards.

It rekindled my admiration and awe of animation, the childlike glee from obvious but still humorous lines, and most importantly, the ups and downs of watching an epic story unfold and holding your breath with the characters as fights get down to the last wire.

In the back of your mind you know it has to turn out but you don’t know exactly how and you’re at the edge of your seat waiting for it to come but at the same time never wanting it to end.

But the story does end (in a way), though I wasn’t left feeling disappointed. I don’t know what it is about Japanese stories but somehow whenever a favorite series of mine ends, I’m not angry or sad. I simply feel...content. And that is the mark of a truly great story to me. A story that you enjoyed experiencing to its fullest and even when it ends, you are left with a sense of satisfaction, because you know the memories of experiencing the story are more important than it coming to an end.

So when I left the theater after seeing YGO DSD, I felt light again, like the carefree kid I was when I first discovered YGO. If it wasn’t for the YGO franchise, I never would have gotten into writing or drawing. So thank you, Takahashi-sama, for creating a series that sparked my imagination and continues to inspire me!

And now onto total silliness to lighten up the mood!

SPOILER ALERT!

While I was pretty happy to see that Kaiba finally got his chance to face the Pharaoh again, I can’t help but think Atem isn’t going to be wearing that smirk for very long...

Several weeks after Kaiba’s first visit...

Kaiba: *bursting into the throne room* PHARAOH! FACE ME IN A DUEL!

Atem: *groaning* Oh, dear gods, not you again! Haven’t you had enough yet?

Kaiba: No! I will not leave until I defeat you once and for all!

Atem: *sighing* Fine. Let’s get this over with.

Approximately thirty minutes later...

*Kaiba in the lead with 8000 life points while Atem only has 100*

Kaiba: *thinking to himself* Something isn’t right here. This whole time the pharaoh has done nothing to defend his life points or make a move on mine. What’s his game? Is this part of some ultimate strategy that involves letting his life points almost reach zero and thus enabling him to wipe me out in one move? Does he have a card that can do that?! Is there a card that can do that?!?!?

Atem: Kaiba, would you just hurry up and destroy the rest of my life points already? If we don’t end this soon I’m going to be late for my weekly council meeting.

Kaiba: Wait a minute...you’ve been letting me win on purpose! You haven’t been trying at all!

Atem: Look, would you just take the win and leave me alone, already? I’ve got a country to run and your constant visits are disrupting my schedule.

Kaiba: This is unacceptable, Pharaoh! I will not leave until I beat you in a duel!

Atem: Now see here; the first few duels were enjoyable, I admit. But now it’s just gotten tedious and it’s only because I’m a good guy that I haven’t Mind Crushed you already (and because Yugi wold probably come after me in a righteous fury for resorting to my YGO Zero days). Look, why not travel further back in time to when I was a kid? You should have no trouble defeating me then.

Kaiba: Because that’s not the same thing! Now duel me properly!

Atem: Gods, I hope Bakura attacks the palace soon...

Ah, Steve. How are you doing without your favorite second in command right now? Especially considering Dreadwing doesn't have as nearly nice legs as Starscream does ;)

Discovering My Personal Style

Needless to say, it hasn’t been easy. Lucky for me, I was fortunate not to be influenced by outside forces: aka, the modern world in the form of public school. Because they would have attached stereotypes to me at best and bullied me at worst.

Before puberty, I didn’t really care about my style, because at that point I didn’t even know who I was. I didn’t have a firm grasp on what my likes, dislikes, personal goals and dreams were, and that was fine - it was normal. I was still learning about new things every day.

When puberty did hit and I suddenly started to care, things got confusing fast. For one thing, I went from being an elfin waif to a Germanic/Latina so full of curves the “teen” clothing section was not an option for me. So I turned to thrift store oddities and boys’ clothes… and growing my hair out to Sailor Moon anime lengths. Looking back, I think I knew I wasn’t going to be one of those people that strictly adhered to ever changing fashions, I wanted practicality and comfort, but all while still maintaining my femininity.

Those years, from my early teens to my early twenties, were hard on me, because I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted, so I lacked confidence in myself. Mid twenties weren’t all that helpful either. But between living abroad, working miserable jobs to save up for grad school and of course grad school itself, I didn’t have a lot of time and brainpower to stop and really reflect on what kind of styles felt like me.

And that was the missing piece I wasn’t getting for the longest time; what did I gravitate towards, what aesthetics brought me joy, what styles made me feel the most comfortable to be in my own skin?

Over the years, I think I picked up bits and pieces but didn’t put them together until recently. As a teen I wore boys’ cargo pants all the time. In my early twenties I had lots of tailored blouses. In my mid twenties I finally mastered some makeup techniques. In the past few years I’ve been on a 1940s-1960s vintage kick.

The result is what I think of as “Audrey Hepburn meets Evelyn O'Connell in the 21st century” (with a little Anazen originality thrown in).

So for those of you who are still trying to find your style, don’t feel pressured to do so. I didn’t know what mine was until I hit 30, and to be honest, it might change later! But right now, this is what I like and feel the most comfortable in. And for those that have found a style that doesn’t fit a stereotype; ignore the boxes! Especially if like me, you were worried about how your unique style would cause others to form false opinions of you before they got to know you. That’s not your concern, it’s completely on them. True relationships aren’t about what the other person is wearing.

We live in an age where it is ridiculously easy to experiment with an endless selection of styles and combinations, so it’d be a shame not to find a look that is perfect for you.

This hit me so hard.

As someone who is autistic.

As someone who never had a hometown.

As someone who is first generation Mexican American.

As someone who is half first generation Mexican American.

I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere or with any group. Because I wasn’t neurotypical enough. Because I hadn’t lived there long enough. Because I wasn’t American enough. Because I wasn’t Mexican enough. Because I was too different.

And finally, it hits me - I don’t “belong”. And that’s okay - great, even. Because that is my Strength.

Thank you, Xiran Jay Zhao, for writing these beautiful words. They mean more to me than I could ever express.

Entrapta deserved better

My posts are usually either detailed analysis or memes and shitposts.

I’ve re-watched the show and this will be an angry rant…  

With every viewing of the show, Entrapta’s arc makes me progressively angrier because I empathize with her so much.

She is introduced to the show as being a reclusive scientist, known throughout the Maker’s guild for her genius. Even her staff is weary of her. She spends all her time alone with her robot friends in her lab within her isolated castle.

The alliance interacts with her with the explicit purpose of recruiting her into their war effort. They want her for her ability to build weapons for them. That’s as deep as the relationship goes this far.

Entrapta has no stakes in the war, the Horde hadn’t attacked Dryl. She joins them because she wants to be their friend; she wants to help them in the only way she knows how, using her technological prowess to their benefit. Due to her isolation (and her being autistic), Entratpa struggles to understand interpersonal dynamics. Human interaction is a skill she has had little practical experience with. She understands the concepts, the rules of the game, so to speak, but she has seen it in play only as a third party rarely ever practicing it herself.

She’s invited to the Princess prom due to her princes status but she’s an outsider there too. No “friendly” princess seeks her out to hang out with her as a friend would. The only person who does so is Catra, and she does it for her own reasons…

With Glimmer abducted, the alliance mounts a half-baked rescue operation. Everything Entrapta did in this episode had a purpose, it looked like she kept getting distracted when in actuality, she was studying horde tech, rescuing Seahawk and furthering their mission and she had no time to explain herself (it also occurs to me that Entrapta might not explain herself because no one asked and no one ever understands her reasoning anyway) The princesses try to control her because she’s being “difficult”. They don’t care why she’s being difficult, they want her to conform.

Once they rescued Glimmer, they don’t even come back to check if Entrapta’s actually dead, or to get her remains and put them to rest respectfully. They allready have the princess they came for.  

Entrapta is all alone with her new robot friend Emily in the Frightzone vents, expecting that she’d get rescued because “no princess left behind” but rescue never actually comes.

Catra uses this new abandonment to convince her to switch sides. Entrapta didn’t jump ship because of her tech hyperfixation, she switched sides because Catra used her skill at pinpointing someone’s weak-spot and poking at it. 

Catra may not have been Shadow Weaver’s favorite ward (she was her scapegoat and punching bag, the poor girl) but she did learn from her and repeatedly put those skills to “good” use.

Once they find out she’s alive, the alliance wants to rescue her but she’s made new friends in the Horde and she think that they understand her fascination with science, friends that actually interact with her directly. She actually feels included here and as such, she’s not eager to return to the alliance’s side.

Entrapta befriends Catra and Scorpia but even in this trio, she is the third wheel. Catra is focused on herself, her ascension in The Horde and on her missing Adora. Scorpia is focused on Catra and on pinning for her.

Once Entrapta and Hordak start growing closer together, Catra stops talking to her. Perhaps she was hurt because Entrapta “broke her promise” to not go in Hordak’s sanctum, perhaps she was envious of her closeness to the Horde leader, or perhaps both, either way, the friendship is broken from Catra’s side. Entrapta still sees her as a friend and fights Hordak over the decision to send her to Beast Island. Despite his grouchiness, he considers her request and grants it.

As recompense for saving her life, Catra backstabs Entrapta when she tried to stop Catra from triggering a potentially world ending event and then sends her to the fate Entrapta saved her from: exile on Beast Island.

When faced with the choice between Catra and Entrapta, Scorpia choses Catra. Hordak is lied to so he doesn’t know to look for her, he believed she used him and is heartbroken about it.

You can actually pinpoint the moment his little heart breaks in this scene:

 Even so, he spends most of season 4 wanting to face her; he’d rather see her as an enemy than not see her at all.

After Catra proves herself a bad friend, (after months) Scorpia finally decides to rescue Entrapta and goes looking for help, deserting to the alliance. She has this little realization:

Adora is the only person that actually wants to go right away and rescue her. Bow wants to rescue her because they need her tech savvy and Glimmer says that they can rescue her after the war or something… (the Island she’s on is a death trap, she might not live that long for all they know)

she said this 

then this

She knows that this is a time sensitive issue but she wants to put it off  despite the urgency, if that doesn’t sound like friendship to you, then what does?  *sarcasm intensifies*

Contrast this with how the villain of the show reacted to the news of her being sent to Beast Island:

On Beast Island Bow gives her a longwinded speech about how she’s supposed to work harder at friendship. I know he’s projecting his own issues here but it still makes me so damn angry. Entrapta’s trying; she’s trying so hard, no one ever tries back! No one makes the effort to understand her (except that one clone but we’re not talking about him), she has to conform to their expectations, the reverse is never applicable.

Anyway, stuff happens and Glimmer is abducted again, by Horde Prime this time.

Then that whole “Lauch” episode happened. Entrapta is distrusted by the alliance more than Scorpia is. She is seen and cold and interested only in tech, she has to explain and redeem herself in their eyes after they treat her like rubbish. They don’t connect the fact that helping them with tech is how she shows her friendship. 

It’s the only thing she thinks she’s worth to them. She wants to be accepted by them so badly.

 Entrapta gets emotional over rescuing Glimmer! 

The person who when faced with the same prospect, said he’d do it later…

Even Catra’s apology to Entrapta for trying to kill her is a blank “I’m sorry”. Pls say what exactly you are sorry for Catra. Entrapta deserves that much. Bow received a better apology for far less of an offense.

All she ever does in the show is work towards furthering someone else’s goals, her own are always a second thought. As @cruelfeline​ pointed out, even a small scene with her discussing what happened with Hordak, her reaction to it and the gang focusing on Entrapta’s troubles for ONCE , even if it’s just offering her emotional support, would have meant so much.

Why is the show trying to tell me that Entrapta should work on being a better friend?

That’s a terrible message!

She doesn’t need to work harder on her friends, she NEEDS BETTER FRIENDS.

So many of us ND people end up being third wheels at best and we blame that on ourselves, we internalize the reasoning that our friendship fail because we’re weird and we’re not doing it right. That we’re the ones that have to try harder to be understood and that our concerns should come second.  That is a terrible thing to internalize, we are blaming ourselves constantly because we try to understand others and they never try to understand us back. 

With age, I’ve grown out of trying and being different so that other people would like me. They’d end up liking the mask I project, not me anyway. I’ve found people that understand me and that like me for who I am, but only after I’ve stopped trying to be “better” for others to accept me. With being honestly “weird” with those around me, I’ve been accepted far more than for trying to fit in. And I’ve realized that people that shun my otherness are not worth the effort to try and befriend in the first pace .

 That is what young autistics need to hear, not “git gud” at friendship.  You are not wrong, you are not defective or broken, you are you and you’re beautiful just the way you are. If other people don’t see that, then the failing is theirs. Don’t change, just look for people that see you. 

I’ve been re-watching Steven Universe (from start to finish) the past couple of days, and all the new little nuances of the foreshadowing, references, and Gem culture are starting to stand out more the second time around. And it’s really sparked some ideas and theories that I hadn’t considered before the most recent seasons came out.

One of the more significant ones is the “My Diamond” phrase, or rather, Rose’s “My Pearl” line that she says in episode 45: Rose’s Scabbard.

Before the introduction of the Diamonds, that line didn’t really have any deeper meaning than the usual term of endearment. But with the Homeworld Gems referring to the significant leaders as ‘Their Diamonds’ (and when they don’t: such as Jasper referring to Yellow Diamond by her name, which we find out why later - because her TRUE Diamond is Pink Diamond), the phrasing Rose uses in that instance could have a far deeper meaning.

To call Pearl “My Pearl”, could not only be a term of endearment, but also that of high respect and loyalty. For Rose to say that to Pearl, who basically was made to be a pretty walking/talking purse, I think it was incredible and overwhelming. It’s no wonder that Pearl was so dedicated to Rose.

I think this is further proved in the episode ‘Sworn to the Sword’. When Connie asks Pearl “Did Rose make you feel like you were nothing?” and when Pearl answers: “Rose made me feel like I was everything.”

That statement makes so much more sense to me if my theory about the “My (Gem)” phrase is correct. When a Gem says “My Diamond”, I think it’s like they are reaffirming their devotion to the Diamond. They are saying “I am loyal to you. I live to serve you. You are the source of my existence.” (or something like that).

So when Rose goes and falls in love with Greg, I can see how terribly hurt Pearl would be by it. The Gem she thought was loyal to her - valued her more than anyone, decides to suddenly chose someone else, after all Pearl has done for Rose, and after thinking that she had Rose’s highest esteem…

It must have been truly devastating.

Now I wonder if Sapphire and Ruby go around saying that to each other ;)

Who wouldn’t want to get married in one of these? 😍

sailor moon wedding dress collection supervised  by naoko

Random Autistic Problem

I hate the fact that my brain has moments of “I want to be super productive today”, but then my body gets in the way by insisting I need food even though my stomach doesn’t feel hungry.

So I’m forced to quickly find something filling that I don’t want to eat and choke it down just to get on with the things I do want to do.

Which is annoying because eating certain foods is a stim for me (like the crunch then yield of a well cooked potato wedge). And cooking those good foods takes time and I don’t have the right mindset to make them (they are their own event that I would like to enjoy at a later time when I don’t have the “productive brain” running).

But if I don’t eat something that shuts my stomach up, I can’t concentrate on anything.

WHY BRAIN WHY?!?!

Was challenged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city . Most of mine are actually a little off because I tend to insert OCs in my fanfics 😅