Hey Y'all. Here's Something For You.

Hey, I saw you reblogged that post about Canada gifting the US an LGBT+ suicide hotline? Just want to let you know that that post is misinformation. The org that runs the hotline - Trans Lifeline - is asking people to corrrect the info; it's interfering with their ability to help trans people. (Their website is translifeline dot org - post is halfway down the page. There's also some stuff in the post's replies and reblogs.)

thank you for telling me! I’ll delete the rb

edit: rb has been deleted

Reblog if you would invite your moots to a sleepover

wilbur soot photo taken by a fan (@lovejoyfan2278 on twitter) last week

How to spot a smear campaign:

Victims’s “crimes” will be enlarged, and even if they’re small missteps, they will be treated as if only the worst person on the planet would do such a thing

Accusations against the victim will always be a reach, aka, they did ‘this little thing’ but it actually means they’re a racist/murderer/genocide supporter/fascist/have blood on their hands, even when the person’s actions never conformed to those crimes

All and any actions of the victims will be misenterpreted in the worst possible way, anything the person does will be taken as an offense and intentions will be read as hostile and manipulative, regardless of how clear they are

All victim’s actions will be taken out of context; ie, victim said something cruel to someone, but they take out the context of the victim being abused, threatened, tortured, forced into defense mode and finally attacking out of desperation to defend themselves and get free

The victim will commonly get provoked into giving a bad reaction, (anyone gets defensive if they’re accused of the crimes they never did, or simply triggering insults until they snap), and the reaction will become the new ‘proof’ that the victim is in fact, evil and guilty

A lot of pressure will be put on you to react ‘correctly’ to the smear campaign; if you don’t accept to demonize this person at once, you’re getting scrutinized, shamed for your lack of morality, told that you support all these horrid things and that you are just as despicable

You will notice a trend of people ganging together based on their demonization of the victim; they will set a standard where you’re accepted and welcome if only you also will demonize and hate this person, and if you don’t, you’re blocked, cast out, and accused of causing harm

It will feel very easy to accept to demonize this person, and going against it will feel risky, like going against the grain, doubting the word of the many and risking being demonized yourself.

The smear campaign continues all the way until the victim is chased out of the community and denied a voice, even if the victim commits no further crimes, awful things will be said about them, their past 'misdeeds’ continually brought up, until the victim is commonly believed to be worthless, and becomes completely isolated, scared of society and alone

There will be no limit to what is considered okay to do to the victim of a smear campaign; even if the victim is accused of minor bad behaviour, it will become okay to threaten, insult, shout slurs, trigger, provoke, humiliate, manipulate, and repeat any kind of abusive behaviour to the victim, all because 'they’re bad so they deserve it’.

People leading the smear campaign will switch between being 'extremely grossed out and enraged’ to showing absolute joy and satisfaction when they find a new reason to demonize and smear the victim. People truly horrified of someone’s actions do not get a leap of joy when a new disaster happens, they’re not beside themselves to abuse the perpetrator all over again.

It will never, ever be acceptable to show any mercy to the victim. Forgiveness is out of the question, trying to understand them is out of the question. Even reading or listening to what this person is saying will be banned and forbidden, unless it’s for humiliating purposes. They will be shown as absolutely irredeemable, and associating yourself with them as evil and unforgivable. You will be instructed to block or unfollow or report the person based on what you’re told, without any significant proof.

Do not fall for smear campaigns. If a large amount of people all agree that a person is the worst, but their story is exaggerated, out of context, sounds fictional, and doesn’t show any proof, and the people switch from being enraged to eager, doubt it. Participating in a smear campaign will help the abusers isolate and abuse someone, and you do not want to be a part of it. They will also smear anyone who stands up to their abuse, so you’re helping the abusers to create a place where pointing out abuse gets you cast out of the community.

Lucky, you're a biased simp. Don't you even care?

Ok, Anon, here's your long-form answer.

If you are as sick of my voice as I am, skip this whole post. Scroll along.

I’ve been criticized recently of being biased, caring for Will’s well-being but not for Shelby’s well-being. That’s partially valid, but like all people with an excuse, wait, wait, let me explain.

Why focus on him, when there is no version of this where he is innocent of wrongdoing (regardless of whether you accept the abuse label)? Where’s the sympathy and concern for Shelby? “You’re just biased.”

Let's take them in order.

Shelby’s Well-Being

Do I care? Yes. 

Am I concerned? Not in the least.

 When she came forward, she said silence was no longer keeping her peace, so she spoke. (Pardon my paraphrasing.) She received a deluge of support from her friends, the CC community, and the public. She expressed immense gratitude and seemed to be moved and bolstered by the unexpected outpouring. 

Is she still affected by Will’s actions? Are there scars that we can’t see? Of course. I’m a happy, married adult, but I still carry the scars of past events and relationships. I have insecurities that even still, years later, I can trace back to my college boyfriend’s behavior and the compromises I made because I believed in him. And there are others. My marriage is a work-in-progress (spoiler: they all are), and I’m still compromising and healing. That’s life. That’s womanhood. We are complicated, strong, and always learning. I don’t know her obviously, but I know myself.

No intervention is needed to save her from mistreatment. There's no imminent danger of continuing harm. This is the healing phase. There is every indication that she is thriving, caring for herself, and finding the strength and support she needs to handle the process of healing.  Her future looks pretty damn bright, she seems to be crushing it, and that‘s great.  Am I invested in her well-being? Nope. She’s got this.

Will’s Well-Being

My concern for Will's well-being is not related to his conduct in the relationship. Those events are totally over and done with. 

My concern for Will’s well-being comes from an entirely different event: Shelby’s public sharing and the protracted fallout.

My investment stems from the incineration of his reputation and the mindset of the people who have decided he’s a monster. The all-or-nothing, scorched-Earth treatment by ex-fans and the MCYT community was, and is, abhorrent. The harm to him is ongoing. The harassment continues. The commitment to preventing Will's recovery and smothering any modicum of support is unprecedented.

Will he ever be embraced again, despite his failures and faults, and entrusted with an opportunity to rise above his past?

Bias

My crusade has led me to dive in and learn everything. I am now safely tucked in an echochamber, focusing on the good in him, and immersing myself in his music with like-minded friends.  Does that result in bias--letting preference lead to unfair judgment?

I saw a good person who did some shitty things. I saw a mix of attractive and unattractive personality traits and a big, loving heart. I saw depression. I saw the warping of self-concept caused by being worshipped day and night by strangers.

Is belief in someone bias? There were turning points in my belief in him, things I watched or read that convinced me Shelby was dead wrong when she he wasn’t a good person and wasn’t capable of change.

“British Boy Returns” VOD. He spends an hour just storytelling about his travels. He’s earnest, full of wonder, and grateful for his fans. He’s acutely aware of how precious his opportunity is.  He is genuinely interested in each town he visited. Her claim that all he cares about is fame and money and doesn’t care about his fans is total bullshit. Go watch it again. He is so grateful.

Response to the fan with cancer: He remembered the person specifically. His response to the fan was genuine, personal, and evident that he was truly moved. The message was not a public show for fans but a personal interaction that was shared.

Message on YouTube on “Mammalian Sighing Reflex”: “It gets better...you’ve gotta trust me.” [It guts me that he was wrong about this, that his message was encouraging and hopeful right before losing everything.] Go read the whole message. He pledged to donate proceeds to mental health charities after one year, and then quietly made good on that promise, despite everything that happened in the intervening months.

MSR: Every word of the album. Every heartbreaking word. The whole thing. He acknowledges his failures, he blames himself and takes responsibility, he describes the effect his MH issues have on others, he’s trying to pull himself out. He knows his demons and he’s fighting them. Does it make him a good guy? No. It makes him human. Mental health issues don’t excuse bad behaviour but they can sure as hell explain it.

His ”I’m moving to New York” message, a few weeks before the implosion: Just read it. Go. Again.

Countless moments in his streams. Sorry he can’t meet every person. Trying to keep tickets affordable. Worried he won’t be able to give enough back to repay all of the support his fans have given him. You get the point.

Otto. No man who greets a cat like that is a demon.

These were things all of you knew. He was never perfect and he tried to tell you that in every way that he could. There’s also a mountain of evidence of the good in him. When this happened, the ex-fans claimed they had just found out he wasn’t the person they thought he was. That’s absurd. Of course he is. He’s all of it, the yin and the yang. He’s just human.

How high’s your pedestal? // Maybe he’ll be Jesus this time

Hey anon, I am not biased. I am persuaded by evidence.

[Let's see if I will shut my yap after this one. We're all so fucking sick of it. Haters, if you'll change your hearts I promise to go away.]

just finding out about these flags from a blog I really like aaaa

wss flag🙏

hitler committed suicide exactly 70 years ago

and to all neo-nazis alive today,