I JUST HAD THE SECOND WATTPAD MOMENT OF MY LIFE TODAY I CAN DIE IN PEACE

Well a few days ago I accidentally told my mom I’m trans

Someone had drawn a basketball court on my table in biology class today

Also yesterday there was a pumpkin on my history table

Wth is going on in this school, students don’t have anything to draw on

every time someone seems to kinda appreciate me i get my hopes up and i suddenly start getting my shit together like i text them first and dress well and i make sure i look ok and my behavior is ok and i try to be as kind as possible.. until i realize i'm too kind to them and way too uninteresting for them to like me even a slight bit and when it hits me i have this huge wave of hatred covering me and i want to destroy stuff and i start being distant because i feel betrayed and i start gradually hating them and every time i think about my very existence i just feel so pathetic and i hate myself even more and- anyway this is the story of how no one's ever been interested in

i told him i was logging off bc he was pissing me off and making it worse

and rn as i was crying i got a text from a friend i made literally three days ago and he said he was sorry for not doing the right thing at the right time and he hopes it's not making me feel too bad and he was feeling guilty about it and couldn't stop thinking about it so he decided to text me to check up on me and i started crying louder bc it's just so sweet of him, especially after what my other 'friend' did

texted a friend to tell him that 1. i was here if he ever needed anyone (bc he told me he had no one to talk to) and that 2. i've been treated unfairly and it's making me upset and his only answer was 'i need you to send me the thing i asked you for bc it's due tomorrow' and i can't believe i'm constantly trying my best for people that just couldn't care less

It's April 1st y'all

The best day to talk to your crush tbh

Shoot your shot!!

You get a positive answer: congratulations, I'm happy for you :)

You get a negative answer: pretend it was a joke and it's all good, I'm sorry for you but no worries you'll be fine

just logged out of instagram and i told people i was feeling out of place, i'm always left behind

and i know i'm gonna receive a lot of dms like 'hey you know i'm here for you' and all and i know they mean it but i don't need fake people that show up when i tell them i'm giving up, i need real people that can see i'm just falling apart and all i need is some real and honest company, a word, a smile, a look, anything

lost a few friends, found some real ones, shared a beer, got drunk, learned to know my friend, my crush said hi to me for once and i found out my drunk art is better than my usual art

maybe that’s what we call a great day

Me: Oh no I don't pass I don't look like a cis boy omg

A random guy: *starts to talk to me*

Random guy: Oh sorry young man I thought you were someone else

Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS

i keep having nightmares where he comes back and finds me and hurts me and no one tries to help me