Every Once In A While I Go Back To My 2017 Era And Go Back To Drawing Near. I Knew Him Before I Knew

og screenshot undercut!

first time using clip studio paint RRRAAAHHHHHHHH!!! that was hard

OKAY IM KINDA NERVOUS CAUSE ITS MY FIRST EDIT SO FAR BUT ITS A GIFT FOR @bamsara hope they'll like it.

i just was listening to this song and i heard the young lovers line and my brain just yelled at me with "ITS TROD NARLAMB" and i was like. okay

art credits is @bamsara ofc.

how lovely !

«i love you, but i don't want to»

or pov you dragged your (now former) god into your cult and he has a very loud crashout after ignoring you for two months straight

Imso sorry

i wonder what they're looking at

Zinaida Nikolaevna Gippius, from The Selected Works; “Memoirs of Martynov,”

Hiii!! I'm sending you this little lamb to make your day better jiji

thank you so so much sweetie!!! i adore this little FLUF

I've been working on an AU as of late. I doubt anyone will really care, but nonetheless I want to talk about it on here because I figure it'll be awhile before I get the comic I'm thinking of out anyways.

It's essentially the same as canon, with one deviation in the storyline. The Lamb, who is named Nolawi here, attempts to sacrifice themself to save Narinder multiple times. But see, the problem is that in the game, when you try to sacrifice yourself to Narinder... You can't. You're brought to the credits screen, yes, but you can continue your save just like normal. Theres no ending after you sacrifice yourself, you're just sent back in time. Nolawi essentially gets stuck in a time loop through this. The first few times, they're confused. They think theres a mistake, they must've been dreaming-- or something odd like that. They fully intend to sacrifice themself. They see it as their final decision, one that will free their benefactor and give them closure. They don't want to become a god. They are at peace with their standing. But the universe denies them. They cannot sacrifice themself. They are stuck in a loop of dying and coming back.

Eventually, the universe begins to shiver at their sheer determination. And by shiver, I mean crack. There's only so many times one can deny their own fate before the fates begin to doubt themselves. Nolawi is a stubborn lamb, and they won't let the world deny them their choice. After so long of doing this, the universe finally responds. The 'Mystic Seller' (or, 'weird physical manifestation of that above divinity' AKA 'the fucking universe itself') presents itself to Nolawi and offers them a deal. The Universe will return Narinder to the living world, he will be-- by all means-- freed. But Nolawi must give up their entire flock in return. Nolawi, as a name, means Shephard. It's a religious name, specifically one from Ethiopia, Nolawi-- or ኖላዊ is God who gave his life for his sheep (mankind). Thus, by accepting this deal, Nolawi betrays who they are as a person and as a god to their flock. They give up their flock as sacrifice for their own selfish wants-- rather then how it should be. Nolawi declines the request. Believing it to be asinine, and the Universe false. They are stubborn, they are the chosen vessel of he who waits, they can be persistent and wait for the Universe to crack as they continue to try and sacrifice themself to Narinder. ...But the Universe is endlessly more patient then a single Lamb. Who is, at this time, still just a vessel, and not a true god. Nolawi is playing with fate, and fate never loses. So eventually, they finally give in. And their entire flock is sacrificed, while Narinder and them are saved. Narinder is freed, as a god in his own right-- But lacking the same power he would've gained if Nolawi had been sacrificed. He is weak, and they are shattered. The Universe freed Narinder as a Bishop and not a Mortal on purpose. Think of it as a petty little 'fuck you' to Nolawi for keeping it waiting for so long. Because Narinder is not a Mortal, he cannot be a part of their flock. So they cannot recruit him.

What is a Shephard without a Flock? Nolawi finds this question a taunt. They're purposeless. They defied fate, yes, and they technically made their own choice AGAINST fate. But there is no victory for them. There is no justice. They are left at the hands of the world again with nothing. Only Narinder. They have a pretty damn unhealthy codependency here, especially because the Universe isn't willing to talk to a god who has no following. And they WILL die soon if they don't build their flock. So, they and Narinder are forced to work together for it. In all their toxicity.

I might elaborate upon this someday and I DO have a comic planned out for this AU, which is why I'm talking about it. I'd love to hear opinions or feedback. Thank you for reading, if you did! It means a lot.

some trod au doodles for @bamsara

sorry that it looks kinda messy my graphic tablet arent working well.

and also little heket