Looks At This Meme: It’s Free Art Inspiration

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”

That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”

oh, that hurt

I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots

the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life

on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious

I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was

The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”

God.

for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again

it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”

" But it doesn’t hurt, and once Lan Wangji gets used to it, he actually doesn’t mind. It feels… exciting, maybe? It feels like half of a dance, an invitation to move with Wei Wuxian through unknown steps in order to make something beautiful together. Without really thinking about it, he tries to match the steps a bit, to take Wei Wuxian’s invitation, and—"

Art inspired (loosely) by A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710

Happy 20TWEN-T(rans)! It’s always a good decade to be you and fuck shit up !

happy roaring 20s y’all! love one another & don’t forget to save the earth 💖🍾🌎🏳️‍🌈

I forgot to add but good for him

I only learned about fear and hunger today but you guys are really into yassifying Cahawra

t-tender 🥺

[Text: But where are you hiding, I'm looking for you when it's too late. Tonight as a last hope/ I want to finally catch you/ to tell you what's on my chest now/ to tell you all my mistakes now to tell you how much I'm scared now] Trans. of Honey by Eddy de Pretto

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Hercules Mulligan Act 1 (Hamilton Minimalist series 8/20)

I miss the lake.

draft Wei Wuxian

these are numbered in the order in which I drew them not worst to best.