The Outfits. His Sassy Stance. Her Looking At Him As If He Has Gone Crazy?

Today I found myself reading TMI again after being done with studying (ugh, whoever invented exams can burn in hell) and I feel like I keep running out of ways to explain how incredibly copy pasted and close I feel to Alec. Like, yes sure, I love Izzy with every inch of my soul and don't I wish I was like her and Magnus is just such a me vibe in my best days. But Alec has always been my focal point every single time I read Cassandra Clare, and every time I expect to find myself being like "oh shut up" like I often find myself doing when Jace talks, even Clary sometimes, but I just don't.

I find it so unbelievable how the first time I read City of Bones I was around three years younger than Alec in that book and I just couldn't help but think "He's real". Because miss m'am Izzy was killing demons in high heels at sixteen and Jace probably had more girlfriends than I have hair on my head and there was Alec. Trying to beat sense into them, being discarded by Jace the moment Clary came into view. His only friends being his own sister who was his complete opposite and his parabatai who way too foused on being cool than on his own struggles, him trying to hide himself from the Clave out of pure fear that they would exile him and just abandon him in a world full of demons as a mundane like they did to his uncle.

He was the secondary character. The fifth wheel of the cart, as we say in my family. And I could relate to that, because being on the outside and looking on the inside, being aware that you're not enough is something that i've found myself doing all my life ever since I was a toddler. Not too fun. Not too cool. Not too smart. You're just in the middle of it all. Never enough to stand out. Just a blank paper. And I just felt this ache in my heart when I finished that book years ago and I still feel it every time and this boiling rage knowing that this man stood bravely against it all. The fact that he played such an important role in the war, almost as important as Jace and he was still seen as "Jace's parabatai", when this man genuinely changed the law and rebuild every belief of the Clave to make it more humane.

There's just enough words in the dictionary to how many levels I love Alec and to how many levels I am grateful to Cassie for writing him, because who would I violently and brutally relate to if it wasn't Alexander Gideon Lightwood, the Inquisitor of the Clave and the man who loved a man so much he changed the world for him and Magnus's archer boy.

Come home. Cone home a and scream at me. Come home and fight with me. Come home and break my heart if you must. Just come home.

And that's me sobbing in a corner if my room

And I cannot be judged because I know you all did

De fiecare data când îl vad pe Ciolacu si îmi aduc aminte ca își salva pisica din copaci (era pe gard?????) si se presupune ca e preferatul la guvern împreuna cu Mickey Mouse (Ponta) îmi vine așa un chef sa îmi smulg tot părul de pe cap de "bucurie" 🎀😘

Cum mai arunc o privire pe statisticile curente ale votului, cum îmi vine să plâng și mai tare😍

people who get excited about stars, moons and sunsets are my kind of people

I have a deep passion for the female shadowhunters in the circle (and or had some involvement) like Maryse, Celine, Amatis and Jocelyn??? Oh I could talk about them for HOURS.

Here's my head canons that literally nobody asked for, but I don't care because I spent all of last summer thinking nobody was invested in the circle and I have pent-up fangirl energy 😌:

Robert is a fictional adult who needs some love: Is he one of the oldest? Yeah. But since he got abused by his dad and he felt like a disappointment for not being able to bear the runes (allergy) he's an insecure little bun, k? K. Also Maryse absolutely understands that, and although she's like super cold and icy and murderous she has a big heart (she's a silver girl, k?) and is always there for him at his lowest. Also, screw Shadowhunters and their smooth skin. Him and Alec? SCARS. That's it. Scars, actually, scars on all Shadowhunters, and also on Maryse, one that runs from the bottom of her ear, down her neck to her collarbone. How? (she's a Shadowhunter, ppl)

Maryse's mom was TRASH, and she has a fear of commitment: Why do I say that? IDK. I like characters with family issues (y'know Robert's got it w his dad, she as it w her mom). AND. She felt alone, which is how Valentine got to her. She was really close to her brother, and him getting stripped of his runes and exiled left her alone with parents that didn't care for her and too many close friends because of her cold (sarcastic queen) attitude. At the end of the day, she felt abandoned and, leaving her with a fear of getting close to anybody because they might leave her as well.

Miss ma'am passed her absolute need to perfect to Alec: If you've read TMI it's hard for people to not know that Alec is definitely the fake it til you make it, wake in the same shoes until you bleed and work on it until it glistens. So while I do firmly believe that he got some of Robert's personality, he did get his loyalty and bravery? From Maryse, all together with the constant urge of being perfect, which she got from her parents' constantly pushing her to be perfect and her need to prove the man in the academy that she deserved her place there.

Maryse and Robert might have been in love, they might not have known what that was: They both come from pretty toxic families where love was ehm...not a thing? So when they met, it was obvious that all these intense feelings of "I would kill for you" would get confused (maybe) for love. I do still that they fiercely loved each other like one loves its first partner. Deeply ad burning, that in their hearts, they were each other's other half. But I do also think that them insisting on staying when that love melted into pure raw platonic love (care? Do remember Maryse cried at his funeral and Michael's ghost touched her shoulder). Which brings me to my next point.

Michael and Maryse: Friends. That's it. The typical gay and bi power friendship.

Celine/ Maryse/ Michael: Trio of friends. Izzy/Jace/Alec but a cultist version of it.

Waywood?: Real. Maryse's relationship w Robert had faded into a pure friendship which lead to him realizing that he was in love w Michael (whether he acted on it or not, that idk)

Eliza and Maryse?: A thing. Hell yeah, she did act on it, which leads me to the belief that Maryse did know that Robert was in love with Michael and that he knew that she was in love with Eliza. Think of it, a lavender marriage out of fear of being stripped of their runes by the clave.

When people ask me what my hobbies and talents are but I can't say that I've developed a very acute sense at seeing the similarities in between siblings and between their parents bcs I never had siblings so it always seemed like such an abstract idea to me, and that my hobby as a five year old was to stare at random families on the bus, but that's weird and very much probably not normal.

So I just say I really like writing and listening to music.

I think it’s very interesting that Alec’s full name is Alexander.

Alexander means ‘man’s defender’ which is often his tactical position during fights. He defends the perimeter with his bow and often gets the brunt of attacks.

Although it fits perfectly with his identity as a Shadowhunter, it also fits nicely with his personality.

Alec is very defensive over the people he loves:

- He threatens Clary over Jace

- Kills Meliorn when searching for Magnus (insane moment that cemented him as my favourite character)

- Was adverse to Simon dating his sister (who he’s extremely protective of)

⬇️⬇️In this scene he nearly flips ⬇️⬇️

———

“Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.

Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.

Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-"

No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a rat."

—-

Even with his sons he’s always defending them, he worked hard to make sure Rafael was adopted properly.

Not to mention all the things he does for the Downworlder community.

Alec spent a lot of his life worrying about being unable to live up to expectations, only to become what his name represented.

Alexander doesn’t just mean defender, bro IS the defender 🔥

do you think dead Shadowhunters watch from heaven what their descendants do? Nah cause just imagine

Jace: To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed

Everyone in heaven: *staring at Will*

Will: ok first of all, this isn't my fault

...

Kit: *moves with Jem and Tess after feeling rejected by his crush*

Cordelia: oh my angel

Cordelia: oh my angEL JAMES COME HERE YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I'VE JUST SEEN

...

Alec: *coming out to his parents*

Anna: *aggressively slams her hand on the table* OK EVERYONE, YOU OWE ME AT LEAST FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. I DON'T CARE IF I'M DEAD ABD DON'T NEED MONEY CHARLES JUST SHUT UP

...

Kieran, Mark and Cristina: *being poly*

Will: OH RAZIEL, WHY DIDN'T I THINK ABOUT THAT, THIS IS A BRILLIANT IDEA

Matthew: Yeah! *Looks at Cordelia and James* Wy didn't we think about that too?!

Cordelia: Matthew, we don-

James: no no wait he has a point

...

Kit: some idiot named W.H. wrote on this books

Will: WHO YOU CALLIN AN IDIOT YOU LITTLE SHIT

Charlotte: Will wait hES A BABY-

...

Sophie: look at Isabelle. She's just so good. She has a lot of dates!

Gideon and Gabriel: *proud*

Cecily: yes but ... where's the flirting awkwardness that distingues Lightwoods? The thing that Thomas, Gideon and Gabriel have?

Thomas: hey-

Alastair: yeah she's right, where is it?

Alec: *just doing anything*

Alastair: ah there it is

I like Wuthering Heights because it basically says, "Yeah, you can have a soul mate. But he's basically the worst. That says a lot about you." Like all the other soul mate shit presents the idea that you have your perfect other half. Nuh uh. Your other half is gonna be exactly as rotten as you. And it's gonna piss you off. Seeing all your worst flaws up close and personal ain't so nice now, is it?