Lol I Love Them

@the-sinking-ship Your welcome love hahaha. I just saw these two and I thought of Draco asking Harry to help him quit his smoking habit (even when we all know he’ll never achieve it), and of Harry doing absolutely nothing to help him cause those sunrises on the rooftop where they share a cigarette after a whole night out partying is their favorite bonding time and I-

😭 I love them stop

Hiii! It’s an honor, I’ve been following for some time now, and I adore your recs 💕

Last song: Baile Inolvidable by Bad Bunny

Favorite color: Burgundy

Last Movie: I don’t remember 🤡

Last Tv Show: Homeland

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: SWEET SWEET SWEET I HAVE AN ADDICTION I SWEAR TO GOD BUT I CANT STOP

Relationship status: Single af lmao

Last thing I googled: How to calculate your annual taxes 😭

Current obsession: Ronarry, Drarry (as always), Harry (just Harry, he’s my fuel, my addiction, my Roman Empire), and Bad Bunny

Looking forward to: Writing a lot this year, (my first Drarry fic too), running and continue learning French. Also Kendra, it’s so cool you’re moving to New Zealand! Good timing too, cause the USA is going nutters rn 💀

@cindle-writes hehe, now you

10 People I Would Like to get to Know Better

I was tagged by @arminaa8 (and I'm honored to even be thought of!)

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Last song: Federkleid by Faun

Favorite color: Baby Blue

Last movie: Little Italy

Last TV show: XO, Kitty (I am a proud believer in Yuri x Kitty being endgame)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet! (I think I have the biggest sweet tooth known to man)

Relationship status: Single as the day I came out of my mother's womb

Last thing I googled: archive of our own (How fitting!)

Current obsession: Arcane (specifically JayVik), Drarry, and Regulus Black

Looking forward to: Snow, reading some good fanfiction, hanging out with friends, and moving to New Zealand!

--

No pressure tagging: @tackytigerfic, @sleepstxtic, @albondiguilla007, @garagepaperback, @hoko-onchi-writes, @jtimu, and @lollipopluna

Stop this is so them in Never Mind the Bollocks

Please please give it a chance, it’s one of my favorite Drarry fanfics, and The_Sinking_Ship @the-sinking-ship is ✨amazing✨ Easily one of my fav Drarry authors, she’s written the most beautiful, spicy and fleshed out fanfics I’ve read.

(also @ijlii what the hell those drawings are breathtaking)

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part Two

Welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Disclaimer for all readers of this series: 

I’m going to sound very confident in my posts where I work under the assumption I’m a better writer than JKR; because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You’re simply witnessing the culmination of over two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn’t just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

I’m not a perfect writer. No one is. I’m not a talented writer either. I’m experienced and skilled through years of study and practice.

I don’t care about J.K. Rowling. At all.

If you’re triggered by the concept and fact that JKR is a terrible crafter of writing, then you might want to take a step back and self reflect on that personal issue.

I still very much love and adore Harry Potter; you’re still allowed to love Harry Potter.

This is not a series to bitch or bash. This isn’t a shitpost. This isn’t an attack on JKR, no matter the disgusting bullshit she spews forth on Twitter. However, my hope is people awaken to the fact that JKR isn’t the goddess of writing we’ve all been led to believe.

This is a place of study and learning, where the purpose is to help students gain critical thinking skills and writing analysis tools to become better in their craft.

And, sorry, one more disclaimer for this specific post: 

Fanfiction is written for fun and is posted for free. I put most of my effort into my main fanfic, Terrible, But Great. (Yes, I intend to update Moon Rite soon, too) However, I also have two fanfics that are cowritten with another author; thus, the style of Shall I Stay and Badger Prey are understandably different. I spend three to four times the hours to edit a chapter versus drafting it. My process for fanfiction: I draft. I do one expansion edit. I do one proofread edit. I post.

However, if I were to publish a novel where people are expected to drop money on said book, my work flow would be vastly more extensive. To be clear, I’d do all of the following myself. I would not outsource. My process for published novels: I would draft. I would do three to four expansion edits. I would do two to three cutting edits. I would do three proofread edits. 

See the difference?

Because I don’t go through a cutting edit for my fanfiction, I’ll often come back later and see things I think are weak. I’m constantly seeing where I can tighten my work. There’s always room for improvement.

Remember: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a paperback book that costs $10. My fanfics are free. If I, someone who writes for free and puts what she considers the bare minimum of effort into them, have a higher standard in the quality of my writing than a paid traditionally published novelist, there’s a problem here. 

All right, with that nonsense out of the way, buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Let’s begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we’re going to discuss these five pages from HP5 and dissect one paragraph and a line from page 731. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

(My favorite book in the series, btw. I fucking love fifth year the most. JKR did a damn good job with Umbridge.)

Since a certain anon lacked the skill to comprehend the difference between too much dialogue and stories driven by a high saturation of dialogue, let's go into further depth about dialogue.

What did I mean last week when I said: "Too much fucking dialogue!"

Today’s lesson will focus on the overall issue in JKR’s dialogue and in the prose surrounding those dialogue lines.

And since, apparently, I “lack the self awareness” to know most of my fics are “oversaturated with dialogue,” I’m going to use weaker examples of my own writing. Chapter 24 of TBG is heavily driven by dialogue with twenty-one named characters to juggle, something that's very difficult for me to manage. Though the chapter is lovely, I do feel it's some of my weaker work. In the end, I just didn’t have the energy to edit it a second time nor go through cutting edit.

Here are three different pages (some connected, some not) from Chapter 24 of Terrible, But Great. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

You can already see the difference, I'm sure.

So, what’s the difference between a scene that has 'too much fucking dialogue' versus a scene that is highly saturated with dialogue?

Because there is one.

Let's set the scene for HP5. In the middle of an OWL exam, Harry received a vision from Voldemort, showing him that Sirius has been captured. He's being tortured to get something from a shelf, but Sirius refuses. Harry believes the vision is real. He tells Ron and Hermione, then asks for their advice on how to rescue Sirius. Ron and Hermione are both like, pardon, wtf, sir? (As they should be.)

We have five pages of this fight between them. These five pages are mostly dialogue with very little else surrounding it.

Also, note the final page where it has the worst sins of adverb usage. That page is what triggered me to begin writing this series in the first place, btw.

There's too much dialogue here. There's no description. I'm being told stuff, but I'm not being shown anything. There are no emotional anchors to Harry either. The more I reread this scene, the more I realized what was wrong.

There’s an emotional disconnect from Harry in the prose.

Do not misunderstand me: it is NOT to say that Harry isn’t emotional here. It's that the prose doesn’t grip me, the reader, by the chest and twist my heart with his overwhelming emotions. The prose doesn't prove anything, doesn't show me anything. This is an intense, terrifying moment for Harry. It should feel visceral. It should feel tangible. I should be able to taste his fear.

We also don’t get too much information about the emotional states of Ron and Hermione. We have hints, of course. But we can’t feel them. The emotions of the scene are dampened, muffled, dull even.

With an untrained eye, you might disagree. It's okay. You'll see what I mean soon.

Page 731 exact quote:

"I dunno how," said Harry. "But I know exactly where. There's a room in the Department of Mysteries full of shelves covered in these little glass balls, and they're at the end of row ninety-seven...He's trying to use Sirius to get whatever it is he wants from in there....He's torturing him....Says he'll end by killing him..." Harry found his voice shaking, as were his knees. He moved over to a desk and sat down on it, trying to master himself.

(Btw, punctuation issue: you do not use an ellipsis and a period together and there should be a space after the ellipsis.)

This is the only instance in the five pages where we get any information about Harry's physical state.

And it's written in such a weak 'telling' instead of 'showing' way, too.

How and where was his voice shaking? How are his knees shaking? Are they knocking together in a weird way that's kind of physically improbable? Or was it actually his legs were shaking? Isn't he leaning against the door? If his weight was resting against the door, then there'd be less shaking in his knees or legs because his knees would be locked to brace his body against the door. His arms and hands would be shaking, though.

How does Harry master himself? What does that look like? Slow breaths? Running a hand through his hair? Rubbing his face and eyes? How is Harry mastering himself? Is it mentally? Then, where are those mastering thoughts? What are they and why do those thoughts in particular help Harry 'master' himself?

What's Harry's tone as he talking about Voldemort threatening to kill Sirius? How is Harry feeling about this? Give me MORE!

The dialogue is presented to the reader in a bland, empty fashion. Harry is relating something to Ron and Hermione. I could switch the dialogue out with anything and it'd still make sense.

There is little surrounding the dialogue to anchor it.

So, let's rewrite this, shall we?

"I dunno how," said Harry, letting out a shaky breath. His hands clenched into fists against the door of the classroom. "But I know where—they're in a room in the Department of Mysteries that's filled with rows of shelves holding these... weird little glass balls. They're in row ninety-seven. Voldemort, he's—" Harry's voice broke. His breath caught in his throat. The memory of the vision returned full force into his mind, the image of Sirius on the floor at Voldemort's feet stark in his mind. He ducked his chin; his chest inhaled in a desperate breath and the edges of his eyes burned. He's torturing Sirius—I can't just wait around. I can't lose him. Harry looked up at Ron, whose face had grown pale, while Hermione stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. The strength in Harry's legs weakened. "He needs Sirius to get whatever it is he wants and he's—" Harry sucked in a gasp, his voice trembling like an autumn leaf in a thunderstorm. "—he's torturing Sirius... says he'll kill him in the end." His knees buckled. Harry stumbled to the nearest desk; Ron reached out with a steadying hand on Harry's upper arm and silent gratitude filled Harry's heart. With shaky arms, Harry lifted himself onto the desk to sit and twisted around to face Ron and Hermione. He licked his dry lips, rubbed his eyes with a hand, and took slow, deep breaths to master his fraying emotions.

The original canon text has 57 words of dialogue with a total of 83 words.

My rewritten version uses 56 words of dialogue with a total of 247 words.

I'm going to drill this concept into your heads, my lovely students: this is what I mean when I keep saying JKR's writing is both bloated and underwritten.

I only rewrote a single paragraph and its following line. The five pages I've provided are filled with this kind of empty dialogue.

So, what have I done here? Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Let's analyze what I focused on in this scene to show Harry's body language and his thoughts. I upped the physical effects on Harry's body. His fear causes his voice to break in the middle of explaining what's going on. He's terrified of losing Sirius, the only father figure he's ever known. Voldemort might take another parental figure from him. 

And now the prose reflects these feelings, not just in his thoughts, but also in how he speaks and reacts to what is around him. He is not just speaking at the reader.

Harry exists in his world. 

And you can feel it.

When he stumbles to the desk, Ron is there for him. Hermione reacting could also be added here. There is a lot that can be added to this scene, if one wanted to expand this further. 

Yes, what I've done has increased the word count, yet it strengthens this short moment—and I'd do this for the entire scene.

What I did to the scene is merely one version of its potential. It could be rewritten in a multitude of ways and go in various directions. I spent 10mins to 20mins on it. I haven't edited it or refined it.

Can you finally see what I mean now?

If you compare the highlighted pages of HP5 to the highlighted pages of Chp 24 of TBG, you can visually see the difference in the density of the dialogue. JKR is the one whose writing is oversaturated with dialogue. My writing will always be highly saturated with dialogue because my stories are character driven. I prefer stories like that. But I also need the dialogue to be interesting and engaging, where the character feels alive in their world.

When I say there's too much dialogue, this scene is such a good example of this because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all over the place in their interactions with each other. Yes, you want your characters to sound realistic, but you're also the author curating an experience for the reader.

There's a balancing tightrope act between having realistic dialogue and unnecessary dialogue.

There's a thin line between showing too much and telling too little.

Lastly, if I were to improve the overall scene, I would center the focus on Harry's desperation to rescue Sirius. As Ron and Hermione try to talk him out of it, where Hermione delivers that iconic line of 'you have a people saving thing,' I'd have Harry explode with something like this:

"You don't know what's it like! You both have your parents—I-I don't... You'd feel the same as me if it were either of your parents being tortured by Voldemort, yeah? I can't lose him—I can't lose Sirius."

I'm not bothering with description around it right now. I just wanted to give the baseline dialogue to show you the theme I'd carry through this scene. It's all about Sirius. It's all about the fear of losing him. It's about showing the emotion of the character and making the reader feel that deeply.

And that's what matters the most.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part Two in this series. We have discussed fives pages in JKR's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The pages in question are 731 - 735 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

feeling called out today

credit: _ADWills

Comforting Romionarry Recs

✨ Wonder / 16k / Molly wonders about them sometimes. How they are always so aware of each other, how closely they cling together. And she worries, too. She worries about them all. She just can’t help it—they’re all her children, in some manner of speaking.

I adored reading about the trio from Molly’s perspective. It was a very refreshing take on their relationship, plus, incredibly heartwarming!

✨ Pity the living / 15k / When moving into a new flat, it's normal to check the bedrooms for space, the bathrooms for mould and the kitchen for that indescribable thing that will drive your loved ones in even when nothing is cooking on the stove. Harry, Ron and Hermione, though, should have been much more concerned about the state of their living room because, whether they knew it or not, all of the important bits are going to happen right in the centre of a space they may yet to grow to call their home.

or: a look into the Golden Trio surviving their first year after the end of the War

✨ for as long as you need us / 5k / “It’s always been the three of us, Harry,” Hermione assured him, her arms wrapped tightly around his middle as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“We’ve dealt with enough strange things mate,” Ron whispered in his ear, his chest pressed against Harry’s back and his arms holding him tight. “Let this be a good thing.”

With the wizarding world thrown into grief by the end of the war, Harry turns to his best friends to help him survive the terrible losses.

✨ Homunculus to the Life / 13k / In a conversation with Dumbledore’s portrait after the battle at Hogwarts, Harry finds out that he is and always has been a homunculus—a substitute body made to carry the Horcrux so that little Harry Potter, who lies asleep as a baby under powerful charms, wouldn’t have to. Harry struggles to process the news, the fallout, and the discovery that he might disintegrate at any moment.

✨ And On The Third Day / 10k / Eventually, they find a note tacked to the gargoyle who guards the passage to the Headmaster's office. It is in Granger's handwriting and signed by her at the bottom, and tells them that, the danger being over and the initial aftermath winding down, she feels that the three of them need some time alone to recuperate and will reappear exactly three days from that day, at four o'clock.

✨ The Stars Our Measure / 11k / Harry died at Voldemort’s hands. Ron and Hermione go back in time with a shared mission: protect Harry at any and all costs. And when it turns out that Harry is showing some signs of recovering his own memories, Ron and Hermione commit, as well, to protecting what’s blossoming between them.

The tags may not seem very “comforting”, but I couldn’t not not put this fic here

✨ In for a Galleon / 12k / It starts out innocently enough. At first, it’s just rumours. A few under-the-table bets.

And then someone puts up the list: Harry Potter’s Next Girlfriend Boyfriend? Partner. And to make matters worse, his best friends are at the top of it. Figures. He really can’t have just one simple year, can he?

✨ The Guest Bedroom / 8k / This is not an invitation, it's an order.

✨ Flood / 4k / Hermione's idea, of course, this getaway. Away from prying eyes, no one else to focus on, see how they got on then with this new thing between them.

✨ Wildflower and Barley / 5k /

Springtime from my window

Another month has not much longer now

The sun hesitates more on each evening's darkening

With all things God allows remain above ground

Like grief and sweet memory

Wildflower and barley

***

A summer afternoon three months after the war.

Helloooo! So I’m looking for a beta or just someone in general that’s interested in reading over some chapters and commenting ideas before I post them. For anyone in the Harry Potter fandom that reads this and feels interested, please write me a message! I’d really like to exchange some thoughts. Thank you!

HINNY

(Meaning Harry and Ginny)

✨ 5k to 40k words

✨ 60k words and on

I just want to talk about the power of commenting on fics for a minute.

I have my main fandom, but when I read in other fandoms, I don't know many of the writers. So I usually just find fics by looking through the tag I want. And if it's a tag I'm really interested in, I'll read every fic in the tag. And if there's a fic I really liked in there, I'll start reading everything by that writer.

So what this means is I'm sometimes reading fics or writers that don't have tons of hits/kudos/comments on their fics, but I found them through some obscure tag I wanted to read. And so I'll get back some really incredibly sweet replies to my comments.

But then, something even more incredible started happening. I'd be reading WIPs by some of these writers and they'd literally start writing the rest of the fic for me. They started asking me what I hoped to see happen or if I had any requests. And when the fic was finished, one of them said the only reason they kept writing the fic was for me.

Sometimes there can be such a lovely connection between the writer and the reader just because you decided to leave a comment. And sometimes you as the commenting reader can become the lone reason why a fic makes its way into the world for all the other readers who come after you.

insane ass tomarry book quotes we dont talk abt enough