Having A Traumatic Childhood Means You Cannot Talk Even Objectively About Your Basic Foundational Experiences

Having a traumatic childhood means you cannot talk even objectively about your basic foundational experiences without it being "venting", even if you're not actually venting. You just straight up have a huge chunk of your life you can't talk about, full stop, without it being trauma dumping.

And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.

It's to the point I get irritated when something I said is framed as venting when I'm literally just talking about my life experiences, doing my best to keep emotion out of it.

More Posts from Akerkukareku and Others

1 year ago

fuck dating apps i wanna meet the old fashioned way (he watches me play at a fête and then i invite him into my band which leads to a 23 year long psychosexual obsession with him)


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1 year ago

the dislike of the beatles towards yoko ono is really.... how fake avant-gardists look when a real weirdo comes at them


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1 year ago

rewatching lotr, and rewatched the hobbit trilogy like 2 weeks ago, and i must say. i love this franchise for all its “i knew a guy who knew a guy” relations. like to give just one example, gimli presumes for a second, like the whole fellowship, that frodo got injured by the cave troll in moria. but he’s actually just fine! because frodo just happens to be gimli’s dad’s boss’s situationship’s nephew, and therefore has the mithril shirt that gimli’s dad’s boss gave to his situationship right before gimli’s dad’s boss led the company to battle against, among others, legolas’s dad. legolas’s old situationship from like last year (60 years ago) was also there and chose, get this, gimli’s dad’s boss’s nephew over him. i love yall


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1 year ago

thinking of goldsick thorin, not wanting to part with a single coin, searching through the treasury for the best thing to gift bilbo. finding the mithril shirt (the most valuable item in the mountain if you don't count the arkenstone) and in the middle of his madness thinking "we're going to war tomorrow bilbo needs this"... INSANE


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1 year ago

McLennon Playlists

I have been working putting together some McLennon playlists. I mean "McLennon" pretty broadly and vaguely with these lists, so choose your own adventure. It's a useful short portmanteau for for the creative partnership of Lennon/McCartney. But I do also think there is a powerful human relationship here, disregarded from the classic Beatles narrative. And I think this relationship is pivotal to much of their songwriting.

This is a work in progress but here are the acts so far:

Act I: The Beatles before India '68. This is a foundational period. For the most part, I don't think these songs are consciously referencing each other. Rather, they providing a foundation for future references. That said, I think Hide Your Love Away deserves a second look.

Act II: The Beatles after India '68. The contrast is remarkable. Not everything on this list is written by Lennon/McCartney. I think George's While My Guitar Gently Weeps is actually the best expression for the whole time. Anyway, they're breaking up. Passionately. Chronology is a total mash since most of these songs were written or produced in a small period of time.

Act III: The 70's up through approximately 1975. Here especially the chronology of songs begins to be sacrificed for highlighting some back and forth. I personally find their mirroring right after the Beatles--with the front and center band wives and antipodal messages right when they're sending each other cutting missives through hit singles--hilarious. But after that you get this escalating back and forth in moods. Still sent through international hits! Lol. Which they simply presume will work. Anyway, if you listen in order, the positivity increases. Unfortunately, a playlist shift is required once John returns to Yoko in 75ish.

Act IV: '76ish through 1980. After a period of musical productivity and reconnecting with old friends including McCartney, John returns to Yoko. Let's not weight into that but merely note that it changes all music vibes for both musicians. John goes completely silent for 5 years, except for later release home demos. (I'm using Spotify for this which doesn't have most of Lennon's demos unfortunately. But the demos for Free as a Bird and Real Love are recorded during this time so those songs are included. Now and Then demo also, but c'mon let's save that.) McCartney in the meantime writes a series of IMPASSIONED songs about things like his baby who won't call him back, and his lover who needs to beware. Idk what is going on with Wings in production, but LIVE he is absolutely wailing. He starts '76 going on tour worldwide with every song so far I would ever include in these lists. He wails into that void so hard... Things dip, but then escalate back up in 1980. Coming Up. Starting Over Again. But then unfortunately...

Act V: Post Dec 8, 1980. Pending. There's a lot here, but it's so sad it's taking me awhile.

Please contribute suggestions if I've missed relevant songs!

I'll be working on providing more details explanations of some song inclusions.


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1 year ago

u know ur a tumblr local when u immediately come here to make sure ao3 is down and see people already posting about it. how dare ao3 be down and deprive me of my gay fanfiction. this is homophobic.

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