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The Sound of Being Loved

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Possibly OOC. I'm posting this at like 12am and I am so tired sleepy but I needed to finish this Or Else

Warnings: some hurt/comfort, talk about The Scar™️

Word Count: 737

Masterlist

AO3

Astarion let out a stiff breath as your fingers brushed over the scar. The poem. The sigil. Whatever it was Cazador'd carved into his back.

You'd asked him about it before. He'd answer curtly and bitterly - as he’d always done when his master was the subject of conversation. But that was so long ago now. At least, it felt quite long ago. He couldn't really be sure. All he knew was things were finally dying down and becoming normal. As normal as things could be, anyway. And you couldn't stop yourself from asking again.

That's how you ended up straddling his thighs as he laid chest-down on the bed.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you reminded him softly. You kept repeating the phrase when he tensed beneath your fingers, or got that quiet, distant aura about him.

He hummed, turning his head to peek over his shoulder at you. He offered the most reassuring smile he could muster. "Go on," he encouraged. "He's dead - it doesn't matter anymore."

You tilted your head. Sharp eyes studied him, searching for any hint of a lie. He sighed quietly as your hand massaged the back of his neck. "But it still happened," you said, "you still hate it."

He smirked, but his quiet voice gave away the false confidence. "You know me too well, darling."

"Yes," you leaned down to kiss his cheek, "I do." He turned his head slightly more to catch your lips for a momentary kiss. Your lips hovered over his, eyes boring into his soul, searching. "I can stop."

"No. Please. I... I want you to know every part of me. I trust you."

You kissed him once more, languid and sweet, before sitting back up. He closed his eyes and tried to relax under your fingers. They danced across his back, tracing each line in their circular pattern. One hand slid to his waist to thumb circles into his side. He wondered why for a moment. Surely it would be easier to feel each infernal letter with both hands? Then he realized: it was a distraction. You were giving him something to focus on while you studied his back. His undead heart stuttered in his chest.

“I could translate it,” you whisper. It’s a gentle offer. “If you wanted to know what it says.”

Cazador is dead, he reminds himself. Whatever the bastard carved into his skin, it shouldn’t hold so much power over him anymore. But the thought of knowing exactly what was written there… His lips pursed.

You pressed a kiss to his spine, in between the circles of text. He lets out a breath. “No. Let it die with him.”

You’re quiet as you go back to tracing. He wonders if you’re translating it in your mind. He… doesn’t mind the thought - not as much as he thought he would. He trusts you, enough to know you would take the words to your grave. They would never be used against him, held over him as leverage. They’d just sit in a corner of your mind and collect dust, until their meaning is lost forever. He doesn’t mind that at all.

Once you’ve felt all of the letters, your hand traces the circles themselves. Starting right at the center, you go out ring by ring. Where scarred lines branch off, you ghost your touch up and down the ridges. There are several at the bottom of the scar. It almost looks like dripping wax, sealed into his skin forever. Imagining what it was like hurts too much.

He peeks over his shoulder again as he feels your hands, full, flat-palmed on his skin, sliding over his sides. You lay on top of him, sliding your arms around him, squished between his stomach and the bed. You’re so warm. Your head rests between his shoulder blades, breaths sliding across his back and shoulders like a warm summer breeze. His body fully relaxed into the affection. All tension faded away, and he allowed his eyes to close in the comfort.

“I love you,” you hum near his ear. “My beautiful star.”

Astarion smiles. “I love you, too. My dearest blood donor.” He relishes in the way you laugh against him, full and bright and free. And he hopes, when he’s lived for centuries more, and loses the spark of life in his eye, he remembers exactly how it sounds to be loved.

was testing something out for an animation project. check out this thing

If Zaun!Viktor existed he would have invented vapes to vape shimmer with sweet milk flavour to keep his lungs from hurting.

The ✨dreams and visions✨ told me that.

Attack on Titan THE LAST ATTACK Full post credit scene is out!

Can’t stop thinking about the fact that “in all timelines, in all possibilities” Viktor doesn’t even think for one second about letting Jayce die in the snow as a child, preventing hextech from ever being created. When Ekko ends up in a dimension without hextech, we see that it’s infinitely better off than almost any of the worlds with hextech. But it’s not a possibility that Viktor even entertains.

Like I’ll use my god powers to search every version of every dimension to find one where you show me unconditional love enough to save the universe, but I can’t even begin to imagine of one in which I never get to know you. Or whatever.

*spoilers for obx s4*

the reason why jj's death hurts so much is not just because he's my fav character or that my fav ship, jiara, is suddenly no longer endgame, it is because jj is the heart of the show, he is fundamentally what the pogues are, more than any member of the entire team and he's the main instigator for most plot points.

without him, the show loses a vital piece of the tone and the emotional core of the second half of obx.

firstly, the first three seasons centers around john b, and even though they're trying to keep the momentum, it's not that compelling anymore bc his arc/ motivations for joining the treasure hunt to find his dad, wrapped up when his dad died.

the next seasons were supposed to be jj's seasons and his search for his identity/ grappling with his pogue & kook identity, finding inner peace (which he rightfully deserved). killing him off basically throws this central theme out the window, the entire point of the second half of obx, which is just another layer of why this is so upsetting. his character arc felt so unfinished and underdeveloped.

i also don't buy that this was the plan all along, even if it was originally a 4 season show. bc if it was, why did they keep adding scenes between him and kie saying they're going to run away to a far away island when all of this over? why add all that island stuff/ losing their home? why add that he's a genrette/ jeanrette (idk what the proper spelling of this name is)? why add all this unnecessary info tying jj to the plot/ giving him plot relevance if they were just going to kill him off without tying any of these plot points off (while he was alive, oof this hurts to type) and creating more plot holes that can't be resolved without him?

his death is super conflicting bc there's little to no resolution to his arc, imo.

with that said, i keep seeing a lot of hate online towards the actors/ producers/ whoever worked on the show and just a reminder that this is not a hate post. i will not tolerate any hate comments about anyone working on the show, including the writers. but i am upset with how they handled his character and the plot of s4 in general and wished they went with something else other than killing jj off.

my headcanon: jj runs away into hiding, kiara joins him at the end of the series finale and they finally go on their surfing trip together. even if it's a mention and we never see him again, it would've been better than what we got.

lord,,,,

I love Alastor having a fucking panic attack about the fact that he cares about his friends.

Simultaneously the funniest and saddest shit I ever seen.

Yeah, sorry GOOBER, you're emotionally attached to those fuckos