Head Empty, Only Bumpy.

Drakken Vs. Gen Z

So, hi. Yes, hello. It’s ME. This post is just something I thought up at swim practice at 6:30 in the morning. I believe that Dr. Drew Lipsky Drakken from the hit show Kim Possible would be ABSOLUTELY POWERLESS against we who are Generation Z for several reasons. These reasons include our slang, the fact that we’re kinda meaner than Kim is, we’re ABSOLUTELY more feral than she is, we’re pretty fucking gay, and our chaotic energy outweighs his.

First off, our slang would give him a whole mental breakdown. He barely understands KP universe slang which is the easiest slang to understand because of how you can figure it out without context. ”What’s the sitch?”, no brainer.  He struggles with that. Our slang? WE DON'T HAVE CONTEXT AND IT MAKES NO SENSE WITHOUT IT. THIS MAN WOULD COME INTO CONTACT WITH THE WORD YEET AND HAVE A WHOLE STROKE. It has a thousand meanings, Drakken would struggle with ONE. He’d be too busty losing it to stop us from stopping him.

Next, as we all know, Kim doesn't swear because it's a TV-G show. Plus she gives off a non-sweary vibe to me. We are not that kind. We would walk into the room and ROAST HIS ASS SO BAD, HE'D JUST QUIT. We'd fucking END HIM within seconds of entering the room. He’d try to talk shit and we’d look him in the eye and say some things he’d NEVER UNHEAR.

Third, Kim doesn't use lethal force or anything like that because once again, TV-G and she seems very polite. Gen Z would not fucking hesitate to take this man out if given the chance because WE ARE FERAL AS FUCK. As our good man Charlie Slimecicle says: "If you have a shot, take it." We would show up with baseball bats ready to KILL.

 This won’t even be much of a paragraph. Many of us are gay and would be too busy flirting with Shego to bother with him, making him offended and sad. 'Nuff said. 

Finally, let's be real. We wouldn't actually fight Drakken. We'd just work with him and team up with him, slowly taking over from inside the forth and overthrowing him until we finally have our coup. Then, we team up with Shego to take over the world ourselves. We are the true legends. This man would crumple before our overwhelming POWER.

As a treat, have some screenshots of the conversation I had with my good friend @baguette-whet​ about this.

Dirty Laundry (Literally.)

So, as we know, Dreamworks put out the new screenshots for season 3 and I noticed something I hadn’t before and it’s something I noticed upon rewatching the trailer as well.

So, kids as we normally know them for a majority of the series:

Dirty, ratty, little teenagers who are fight for their lives, right? Well, now look at THIS. Specifically their clothes,:

They’re clean. SPOTLESS. Through season two, their clothes were dirty and so were they to an extent. The same thing in the trailer, there are scenes where they’re just CLEAN. Which has made my brain go brrr for a second, so stay with me here.

1) They could’ve found a facility with running water and were able to clean their clothes. Because those things are SPOTLESS and those are the only clothes they have as far as we know.

2) They were rescued and were able to get themselves and their clothes cleaned, and with this thought, it’ could explain why they were after the egg? Like, they got rescued and whoever it was wanted the egg possibly? Like a condition to their rescue or something? Not sure.

3) Now, it also raises the question of when this happens. If we take the raft scene I posted earlier, they’re dirty and ratty, right? So either that’s like I theorized in my Bumpy post and that’s the beginning of the season and they get clean later. OR, they get clean and just get dirty again, which is ALSO very much possible.

ALSO THIS LITERALLY JUST OCCURED TO ME AND I JUST NOTICED IT BUT IN THE HELICOPTER SHOT, BEN ISN’T THERE, BUT THEN THERE’S THIS SCENE:

BET, RIGHT NOW THAT THESE SCENES ARE CONSECUTIVE! The helicopter shot is first, where the fam is like being threatened or something, followed by Ben showing up to save them with Bumpy and a herd of Ankylos (which I’m betting they put her into when they planned to leave the island). The lighting and location is the same and it would make sense! BUT ONCE AGAIN NOTICE THE CLOTHES AND CONDITION. BEN IS STILL DIRTY WHEN IN THE KIDS IN THE HELICOPTER SHOT LOOK FAIRLY CLEAN STILL.

THIS IMPLIES THAT BEN DIDN’T GO WHEREVER THEY WENT TO, RIGHT? So, I think it’s possible that the Fam, minus Ben, was taken into some facility, by which I mean they were probably found and lowkey forced to go. Because if they have a helicopter, chances are they have soldiers and guns. I mean, it’s a dinosaur island, you’d obviously want those. So, those are already a bit of a red flag, plus after the whole thing with Mitch and Tiff, no way the kids are gonna trust that easily. So it’d make sense for them to have Ben stay behind in case something happened, which, clearly something did, so he comes in with the cavalry.

Once again, this is a terrible essay I’ve written for y’all. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and I hope you enjoyed it!

Poptart Thief

So, Nico Di Angelo’s fatal flaw is holding grudges and he WILL hold them till the end of time. So, like, imagine Will doing something so minor, but Nico won’t shut up about it because he’s bitter and petty.

Like, Will eats Nico’s Poptart and now this is their conversation:

Will: Hey, Nico?

Nico, reading a book: Yeah?

Will: Have you seen my shoes?

Nico, not looking up: I don’t know, have you seen my motherfucking Poptart?

Will: Are you actually-

The Hollow and Castle Carcolh

OKAY, SO

I was re-watching the season 2 trailer for The Hollow, right? Except, this time I was watching it on a better screen, which means, I noticed some things I hadn’t before. One of these things was this sign by the weird haunted mansion place:

Clearly, that is the name of this building, right? So, I did some did some DIGGIN’ on the interwebs. First off, the not shocking bit is that  chateau means “Castle” in French. However, it’s the SECOND word I was really interested in. I tried a lot of languages, but I couldn’t find anything. So, I ended up just putting up putting Carcolh into the search bar alone and I MADE A BREAKTHROUGH. The Carcolh is actually a creature from Gascon folklore, also called, the Lou Carcolh. Gascony is a small province in France and they believe the Carcolh to be a serpent-mollusk like monster. So, I went into images and I was VERY INTERESTED by what I saw.

This is an interpretation of what the Lou Carcolh looked like, and some of the others weren’t much different. I was sitting there and I was like “That looks kinda familiar... but where have I seen this before?” Then, it hit me

Lads, lasses, and enby masses. I give you this image from the season two trailer:

That my friends, I present the snail monster from the trailer, who I am betting is actually the Lou Carcolh and the name of that spooky Castle. I’m not quite sure how it all fits together yet, but I’m sure it’ll all make sense in ten days.

So, I looked a little more into the lore of the Carcolh to see if anything could give  us a better idea of how this all fits together. Apparently, it has slimy tendril like appendages that surround it’s mouth and stretch for miles, with made think of ANOTHER SCENE from the trailer.

Remember the quick scene with Mira fighting that tentacle looking thing? I’m betting that this is their fight with the Carcolh and that’s one of it’s tendrils Mira’s currently battling off. The monster is believed to live underground in caverns in Southwest France. It would drag anything that was caught in it’s tendrils back to its’ cave and then would swallow whatever it caught whole with it’s huge mouth. The nickname The Carcolh was given to the city of Hastingues, in the French department of Landes since their place of settlement was on a rounded hill. As a last little fact, the men of Hastingues would tell women they deemed young and pretty, “The carcolh will catch you!” as a warning. I, however, know not why.

So, I have no clue how this will play into Season 2 or if it will at all, but I hope this gets you’re mental gears turning!

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Because he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

I've been thinking about Akutagawa's "Who are you?" for HOURS and I'm begging- hands and knees -for this to be a "get your shit together atsushi" moment and not actually "whoops brain wipe because of vampire shit" moment.

Like, these two goobers know each other better than they'd like to admit- particularly when it comes to combat because of how they've fought side-by-side so many times. So, it would make sense for Akutagawa to see Atsushi's current state and go "I don't know any pathetic losers like you" because he doesn't have time to deal with Atushi's current state at the moment and also because he's just that kind of blunt asshole (in the most affectionate way possible). The weretiger he knows always fights back and never gives in and is constantly fighting to live- to prove he deserves to live -no matter who the opponent or how powerful. Yet, the person before him is begging for death and on his knees before a foe, crying and sniveling. That person isn't someone he recognizes. And as we all know, Akutagawa isn't someone to mince words or give platitudes, especially to someone like Atushi who he regards as his rival in a sense, so he'd never say anything like "this isn't like you" or crap like that. And this goes double since he's now also busy facing pretty much a god and doesn't have time to dissect whatever's up with Atsushi.

So, of course, the natural thing for him to do is be his usual, straightforward, and somewhat mean self. "Who are you?" Not a simple question of identity but a statement of disappointment (for lack of a better word here at 1AM). A challenge directed at Atsushi to get it together and remember what they're doing here. Obviously, Atsushi's behavior is the result/has been heavily influenced by- y'know -literally everything that's happened in the last few chapters but regardless of whether or not Akutagwa even knows that (betting on not at the moment, me thinks), what he does know is that this isn't the time to be letting Fyodor have his way and that he needs to fight. He's telling Atsushi to stand up and be the weretiger he knows and has fought beside every time and, in terms of SSKK, his other half.

And now, we're all just waiting for that moment when Atsushi gets back up and Akutagawa gets his partner back and then they bully (AKA flirt) with each other in standard SSKK fashion while they beat up Fyodor and his god best friend.

Of course, I've already seen a couple other people mention this idea as well because A) we're all coping together and B) it would be a clear and interesting narrative line to take (in my personal opinion). A show of how these two enemies/rivals truly see each other and that they are a team despite appearances. A moment that reminds us, and potentially even them, that they know each other better than they think.

Probably just stating the obvious here or doing a longer-winded version of what everyone's already been thinking (especially since I'm like 3 days late to the party) but whatever lmao. Just needed to yell into the void a little bit and put the manifestation of this scene into the world.

E750 Survival Skills (Potentially?)

Soooo, season three is a thing that’s happening now. Yay! Anyway, if any of you remember my absolute CRIME of a post about E750, then my deepest condolences because I’m BACK WITH MORE.

So, as you’re all aware, I’m a fool who has decided sleep is completely irrelevant to living my best life. I need only Netflix and some crazy theories. Speaking of crazy theories, let’s get into it.

So, if you had the great misfortune of reading my last CC theory and you remember it, you’ll know I talked about the potential of E750 being a new breed of Indominous, something very different, or even a fucked up horse. However, that’s not something to worry about at the moment. These were all just theories from before. But NOW, I wanna give y’all something new because I’m bored and I should actually post on my Tumblr blog. Now, one of the things we got from this trailer was a different perspective on the E750 containment unit. As in, we see it from a different POV. In season 2, the perspectives we got made it look pretty large, which in turn, gives the idea that this creature itself is large.

However, when we see Sammy and Brooklyn discover the tube in the trailer, the actual containment portion might be as tall as them, give or take. Meaning, it’s potentially around 5′7-5′3 if I’m judging it right which I might not be because... I’m kinda dumb. Still, that means that our dino friend here is not as large as we originally thought, possibly standing shorter than some of our main cast. I’m not saying it won’t get bigger. It could. However, what I am saying is that this dinosaur isn’t what we thought it was going to be.

As far as we know, this dinosaur is small and most likely not as strong as some of the other predators we’ve experienced in this series. Which begs the question, what makes it special. Obviously,  it was being made and also being held in cryogenic stasis, which means, it was created for a purpose. For a REASON. Every other dinosaur we’ve seen is either big and scary, strong as hell, or strongest in numbers. E750 doesn’t have any of that as it’s small, alone, and slender. How will it survive and threaten our main trio?

Well, I have a few ideas, some of which were also supplied by my partner-in-crime @baguette-whet . Obviously, this creature is predatory and based on it’s current size, quite slim. Meaning it can track these kids places other predators can’t, making it a danger to them even when they think they’re safe. Which limits their options from run and hide to just run.

Now, the other idea was the very first one I had. We know that to complete the I-Rex’s DNA, Wu had to use the genes of other animals. So, why not E750 as well? It’s very much possible that this creature has been genetically engineered with dangerous animal DNA or dangerous animal DNA was used to fill the gaps. The specific thought I had, that could really push this over the top? Venom. If it had venom that would make this creature much more dangerous than we originally thought, especially if the venom comes from a creature like a Komodo Dragon or some form of cobra. (Just had this thought RIGHT now but like, E750 SPITTING VENOM? CORROSIVE VENOM? Iconic.) 

These are just ideas I have and I don’t know if anyone else has wondered about this question as well but I would love other ideas. How do YOU think E750 is going to be a threat here in season 3?

Heart (härt) - Noun: Personality, Disposition.

You could never stand the weretiger- pathetic and yet standing where you wished and should. Something about him just rubbed you the wrong way. Something about him irked you- not just that he occupied a position undeserved, a position he did not understand. But something more.

The way he ran himself ragged for people who would never acknowledge him. Bleeding out for permission he needn't ask for from people who wouldn't give it. Willing to die on the off-chance that someone would tell him that his life had value.

He was kind because he was selfish. Selfless because he had something to gain. Gentle because he was designed to hurt- made to kill. Those contradictions irritated you.

It disappointed you, his personality.

It made you sick, honestly.

And yet that disposition seemed familiar, but you did not address it. It was pointless to think about. After all-

Knowing the weretiger's heart was not something needed in order to rip it out of him.

Heart (härt) - Noun: The emotional or moral nature as distinguished from the intellectual nature

You could never understand Mafia's dog- the way he killed so easily as if he would die without it (you think he might). The way violence was his only calling- a calling that he never seemed to miss. Every time you met, the smell of death followed him and it never made sense to you- how someone could feel so little, even if they were cruel.

You weren't even partially sure that the bloodied man even HAD emotions TO feel. You fought to live, but that did not mean you took life lightly- not in the slightest. Life held value to you. Every person had a soul and a life.

Every person had a heart.

Except him.

Which is why it surprised you when he let you borrow his strength for the first time. And then for the second time. For someone who hated you so much, he hated letting you lose to someone else so much more. And yet you could understand why.

So, you issued your challenge. You needed him to earn his right for combat.

You needed to see if he was truly heartless and what that heart was made of.

Heart (härt) - Noun: Courage or enthusiasm especially when maintained during a difficult situation

Your death is quick. You barely feel the blade but you certainly feel the blood. But only for a moment. But only for a second.

And in that second, you think back.

You came because Dazai told you to. You followed because he needed you to be his Eyes. You said you'd let that damned weretiger die.

But he knew you didn't mean it.

And he was right.

He was always right.

You'd always sort of hated that about him.

You'd known this fight was no longer in your favor- it had stopped the second that damned sword came out. No. That was a lie. Your favor had never existed in this fight- not so long as it was Fukuchi you were fighting.

So, you'd had to make a choice. One that determined how many deaths would be marked and how many bodies found. You'd just known that- however you chose -one of those bodies would be yours.

Sacrificing yourself for the weretiger is not something you truly ever thought you'd do- for many reasons -but you let your blood spill for him nonetheless. You forced him to flee- knowing he'd wouldn't understand why.

As much as your heart had protested- as much as it had wished to beat and beat and beat for just a few moments longer -your heart had known you would not listen. Your heart had known it had to steel itself in order to do what you needed to do. The courage to sacrifice for the weretiger you had wanted so desperately to kill.

And then your heart stopped.

And then your eyes opened.

Heart (härt) - Noun: One's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations

You'd never seen into someone's heart before- not like this.

Before the blade, you'd just been glad to see Akutagawa alive again- even if not quite himself as before but more himself than when you last saw him. You'd been afraid he was lost forever, your voice not reaching his ears, no matter how loud you cried or how strong your faith.

He was back and he was strong and you knew you couldn't let him die again. Even if it wasn't a true death. It was your turn to save him- to show him that you wanted him to stay.

And now here you stood, in the mires of his heart and it wasn't quite what you thought it would be. You watched him play out emotions you recognized in situations you recognized born of desire you recognized. And in this moment, you realized his heart was just as bruised as your own.

His heart was just as damaged and bound by a need intrinsic.

You let yourself walk through the alleys of his heart and his soul, letting his memories and experiences wash over you. His emotions, pure and entire.

His vengeance towards a world that never gave to him. His rage at a world that took from him. His hunger for purpose and for praise. His hatred for you and what you stood for. His anger. His pain. His desire.

His every beat of his heart.

A heartbeat you felt begin to resound with your own.

Heart (härt) - Noun: Love, Affection

You couldn't help but be angry- though who or what the emotion was directed at was unclear. You were angry at the Weretiger for being so stupid as to sacrifice himself. Angry at the being that killed him. Angry at the man who caused all this.

Angry at yourself for letting it happen and angry at yourself for needing his death to remember.

But you needed to fight because you refused to let his actions become null and void. So, you would continue to fight- as he would. You fought and you fought and you fought, feeling that familiar chill up your spine again. That feeling of death.

And yet.

And yet.

You don't think of the man you've spent your life trying to please, clawing for acknowledgement from until your fingers painted in red. You think of a fool so... foolish that he died for you of all people. A man who would rather die that let himself become a burden. A man who had called to you when you were lost in the prison of your own mind- reaching out no matter how much pain you caused him.

And you had heard him. Even if you could not respond, you had heard him because how could you not? His cries and his faith had not reached your ears but your soul which was so tethered to him and his at this point you were unsure where his started and yours began.

Death waiting once again, you do not see or hear Dazai. It is all Atsushi Nakajima.

He is your ordeal.

He is your greatest challenge.

He is your most infuriating ally.

He is so much more than words can truly describe.

More than just a person.

So, no matter the dimension, no matter the god- the Weretiger WOULD be returned to you and your side.

You reach forward again, your fight far from over, and you let it drive you. You let it guide your hand and your blade. It which has guided the both of you ever since the very first day you met. It which has driven you from the very start.

That which drives us to act, a mysterious thing called the Heart.

Y’all know those Extra gum ads? Where that dude is flirting with the girl through gum wrappers? So in the spirit of Hawwoween, what if the guy was a creepy ass stalker? Like, he draws her sleeping in her room and shit.

So, for my birthday weekend, my best friend came up and we watched the hit movie Akira for the first time (something we'd been planning for a while) and holy shit oh my god.

The way I have to sit at work like I didn't just watch Akira and like I'm not making notes for two separate analysis essays I'm hoping a professor assigns someday is not funny.