Every Time I Listen To Vampire Money This Is How It Plays Out In My Head 

I lived my dream of being a quizmaster and destroyed the apartment with a confetti cannon for @youtube’s stream #withme and we raised a load of money for NHS! ..Now to spend two hours sweeping

If you missed it you can play it over on the YouTube Originals channel (I’m 28 mins in)❓✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/B_pqZvajG9f/?igshid=plkzyvxgofe3

I’m just saying lol

Today, on this fateful day in sex ed, I have to teach 25 9th graders how to put condoms on wooden dicks without losing my composure. Wish me luck lmao

Wei Wuxian: Can i sit here?

Lan Wangji: That is my lap

Wei Wuxian: So can i?

This is my new favourite thing on this website ;) I swear to Chuck y’all are gonna be the reason I have a heart attack

💧💧💧

I guess that I’d hope that eventually you’d get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family. 

tRUEST sHIT

Hamilton: listen, Philip, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Hamilton way.

Philip: isn’t that just the wrong way?

Hamilton: yeah, but it’s faster.

Person: The Umbrella Academy fandom is dying.

The Umbrella Academy fandom:

*hairdressers everywhere are crying watching this video*

(Trying To Cut My Own Hair)

Every time someone comes to the Burial Mounds: What is this shithole of a place?

WWX, passive aggressive: I live here