Ancient Moon Priestesses Were Called Virgins. ‘Virgin’ Meant Not Married, Not Belonging To A Man

Date guys who are taller than you. Date protective guys. Date guys with a giant army of orcs and an unquenchable desire for the one ring. Date Sauron.

a 90’s kid? don’t you mean sad adult?

We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do.’ Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time.’ “Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle … ‘Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went ‘KFHGSKG’ and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!’ If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz.’

Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via light-thematch)

this is the best thing that ive ever read

(via strawberrymilkspitbubble)

:)

Crucial.

(via dayzea)

i could not hurt him outright, so instead i did the next best thing: i forgave him, and then, eventually, i forgot him completely.

let go // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

if you think i’m joking when i say that i’m eventually going to marathon all six of the extended LotR and Hobbit movies then you underestimate my dedication and willingness to completely waste 24 hours

i’m just tired and sad and want to makeout with you

“kylo ren and general hux should date,” I say into the mic. the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speak and commands silence in the room. “he’s right” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. there in the fifth row stands: rey.

what i say: i'm bored

what i mean: none of my usual hobbies are stimulating enough for me anymore because i am dead inside and i am desperately craving human interaction in a vain attempt to keep myself from slipping into the abyss of insanity