If I’m Ever Brutally Murdered And Everyone Feels Like They Need To Do Something Productive In My Memory,

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

i feel like nobody has NOTPs anymore. like if you hate a ship now it has to be for some deep moral reason and you have to justify it to everyone what happened to just not liking stuff that isnt inherently bad but just because you personally think it sucks

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Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it's so fun you'll love it Come into my wine cellar

its all 'be gay do crime' until a black person starts making allusions to drugs or sex or god forbid VIOLENCE and then it turns out nobody can handle anything more hardcore than downloading illegal torrents of hamilton

Rebecca Sugar cooked with "Character whose entire existence is devoted to the service of another character who's now dead and now they have no idea what to do with themselves except live." I love that shit. I forged myself into a tool for you and now you're gone. I'm sniffing this like a bloodhound

do not raise a word against those crusty little white dogs in my presence. 1. they are some of the only breeds that were bred to live in a dumpy apartment not like a golden retriever who longs to swim and run and can’t even chill on your dumb couch cuz of the hair 2. You’ll be singing a different tune when the crusty little dog is a tiny little puppy and is the shade of a beautiful jasmine bloom… and you make fun of the old ladies for babying them when they’re crusty and old but someone will be taking care of YOU when you’re old and crusty and you will wish they love you as much as those old ladies love their crusty dogs….

had contractors come by and forgot i was wearing this shirt