Definitely Me If I Were A Cat.❤

*looks around* fuck, I think someone snatched my wig.

Full offence, and I say this as a fully fledged homosexual male who sucks dick for breakfast, but female strippers absolutely outclass the FUCK out of male “strippers” like catch the ladies working the pole at some skeavy-ass strip joint for probably twenty bucks an hour sliding that pussy up and down the pole like she’s a damn acrobatic in full platform stiletto pumps, beat for the gods, hair snatched like it’s no big deal then you walk into the gay bar and find some overpaid muscle queen shuffling around in Andrew Christian underwear to a shitty Cardi B remix like

fucking tragic is what it is

Where the hell has this man been!!?👏🏾👏🏾👌🏾

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

Stahp!😂😂😂😂

When you test your mom’s crazy threats and she not playing 😳 #KnockedMeBackInTimeFr

Car Collision

I rear ended a car this morning…the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said “I am NOT Happy!” So I said, “Well, which one ARE you then?” That’s how the fight started.

some man online: “arya’s a mary sue. rey’s a mary sue. i simply don’t believe a young girl could be that skilled.”

what they expect me to say: “well, no, actually, canon supports it, because if you look back as far as season three, she’s been training for–”

what i’m actually gonna say: “good. good. about fucking time. in the next movie i hope rey blows up a dreadnought with finger lightning that she learned earlier that day. i hope she rips palpatine’s spine out with her bare hands while everybody claps”

Have you ever been at a point where you questioned every choice you made that led you to doing something that ridiculous?

Sᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ᴍᴜsᴇ “Hᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ (…)”s. Tʜᴇʏ ᴄᴀɴ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ‘ʏᴇs’ ᴏʀ ‘ɴᴏ’.

“Yes.”

I'll rather be alone than someone's second choice lol.. fuck that and fuck them. You deserve the best. You deserve devotion. You deserve to be loved with the full capacity of someone's heart, not half.