Said Couple Are Definitely Tim’s Bio Parents.

What if there is a world where Jack and Janet swapped, and who got the coma, etc.?

I mostly thought of this cuz I had an amusing thought at work that goes something like this: Ra's: "Your father must have quite the man, Timothy. With just how perfectly you turned out. " Tim: "No, I got it from my mother. And if you know what's best for you, stay away from her. " ---Time Skip--- Janet walks into Wayne Manor: "Timothy, what have I told you about letting your stuff lie about in its improper place?" Tim: "Not, too, Mother. I'm sorry for being so thoughtless." Janet hands Tim a suspicious jar: "I'll be merciful this time; your surgery is booked for tomorrow, so make sure to get your affairs in order." Janet turns to Damien and hands him a card. "This is out of courtesy, child. Make sure not to repeat the mistake. Either of you." She eyes Jason and Damien. "And Mr. Grayson, your thin ice too, for the attempted hospitalization of my Timomothy." And with that, she walks back out. Bruce hesitantly asks: "Tim... Why did Janet hand Damien a sorry for your loss card?" Tim: "Well, since I now have my spleen in the jar, Bruce, I'm pretty sure Ra's is dead."

Fyi someone tiktoked your post, here's the link (I'm on mobile so I can't embed it in the text, sorry):

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdYaGEWv/

*gives Tim all of my mental and physical illnesses because it's midnight and I'm bored*

The second one is lowkey nsfw by the by.

-

Tim, eating breakfast with the family when all of a sudden his ribs decide to feel like they're folding in on themselves:

Tim: Damn, I really gotta kms

Bruce, not looking up from his morning paper: Your therapist said not to say that.

Tim: Damn, I really gotta... eat.... cookies?

Bruce: *Approving hmm*

Dick: Someone in this family goes to therapy?

-

Tim's body deciding to simultaneously cramp and set itself on fire mid getting his back blown out:

Tim, reaching behind him: Shit, stop, pull out...

Bernard: OhmyGod, sorry, are you okay?

Tim: I'll live, just let me...

Tim: *lies face down on a pillow.*

Tim: Roll me over if I run out of oxygen.

Bernard: Okay :(

Bernard: I'm sorry :(

Tim: I'm okay, Bear, promise. Could you just like, grab painkillers and stuff?

Bernard: And heating pad, and snacks?

Tim: Yes. I love you

-

Tim, staring at the suspiciously ballerina-shaped figure that keeps whispering to him and changing:

Tim: Yo, chat, you seeing this?

Damian, glancing in his direction: Hm. No.

Tim, who just needed confirmation he was hallucinating: Cool, thanks.

-

Tim, still sitting at the batcomputer after 6 uninterrupted hours: Man, I'm hungry...

Jason: Eat then.

Tim: Nah, I'm good, I haven't earned it yet.

Jason: Fym earned it? If you're hungry, go eat.

Tim: No, it's cool, I haven't even gotten the shakes yet.

Jason: THE SHAKES?? GO EAT!

Tim: No, it's cool, I don't even have a headache yet.

Jason: TIM!

Tim: No, it's cool, I'm not even hungry anymore.

Jason: GO FEED YOURSELF.

-

Tim, through comms, on patrol: I'm gonna head over to Main Street real quick.

Babs: What? Why? That's not on your route tonight.

Tim: Yeah, but if I don't my head will explode and my whole family will die.

Babs: I see... Well, tell Bruce hi if you run into him.

-

Tim: I'm glad my addiction genes went to caffine instead of alcohol, I could've been fucked up.

Jason: Real.

Bruce: Are you both prone to addiction?? And you didn't tell me?? :((

Tim, with a full-size fridge full of energy drinks in his room:

Tim: You didn't know?

-

AU where Zuko realises very early into his banishment that he’s been sent on a hopeless goose chase and, actually, he doesn’t want to return to the oppressive Fire Nation and his abusive father. And he sticks with this decision even after Aang wakes up from the iceberg

Except then Aang meets Zuko - probably when Zuko jumps in to save someone, because his sense of justice is too strong to just sit back while someone is hurt, even if he is trying to remain apolitical - and his brain goes “!!!!” Because that’s a good firebender. They do exist. And now Aang knows someone who can teach him firebending without trying to kill him

Except Zuko wants nothing to do with the Avatar. He especially doesn’t want to get entangled with his father’s war. So the rest of the season is about Zuko running from the Avatar, and Aang and co trying to capture the reluctant ex-Prince of the Fire Nation so he can be Aang’s firebending teacher

I personally think he’d:

Also be a werewolf.

Be killed by Fenrir Greyback on the same night Remus became a werewolf.

Not a werewolf and died because he accidentally walked in on Remus transforming at some point when they were kids.

Both 1&3, he died during a full moon as a child either because Remus accidentally scratched and killed him or he accidentally scratched himself so hard that he died. But no one knows for sure what happened that night.

Animagus who turns into a wolf or a very small dog.

I think him being named Romulus and dying tragically, especially if Remus accidentally killed him when they were kids, would be an interesting inversion of the Roman myth of the founding of Rome because Romulus is the one who kills Remus in the myth.

I just want to know the general consensus of the hypothetical

I believe the correct saying is: not the sharpest kned in the shife

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

I hate when people lose something and then when they finally find it they say “It’s always in the last place you look.”

Like??? Yes, of course it is?? You don’t keep looking for something after you’ve already found it, right???

My god, this contribution is great! Sorry I didn’t see it earlier.

Here’s some pictures of the two things that inspired my original post:

1. This is Muck, he’s apparently made of 100% recycled plastic and I got him at a castle that had a monster exhibition in the basement:

2. I made Regulus in toca hair salon, it’s supposed to be directly after he left the cave: (This is not an ad)

An AU where Regulus survives the cave and people (mostly Sirius) keep getting him ocean/fish/kraken themed gifts.

Examples of these gifts include:

A Tshirt with a cartoony fish pattern for his birthday. (Where did Sirius get it?? Stores don’t sell these in adult sizes?? And it hasn’t been made larger with magic because the fish are the same size as they are on the kids shirts.)

One of those fish shaped hats that are supposed to look like the fish is eating your head.

(Feel free to add more if you want to)

This might be a bit of a hot take but Pre-serum Steve Rogers is an omega, Post-serum Steve Rogers is an alpha (or sigma) and the Super Soldier Serum is clearly some kind of artificial studding.

Things that have slightly similar flavors, mostly when chewed on:

Recently hair conditioned hair.

Chlorine/whatever else is in pool water, but specifically when you chew/suck on something that’s soaked in it like for example: your hair, your shirt, your swimming clothes, a pool noodle and the foam ribbons on those toys you dive after that are meant to make it easier to grab them. (This can however be notably sweeter than a seatbelt depending on the soaked object.)

I will never again know the succulent flavor of a seatbelt